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Let us give thanks for racy Tom Swifties

kalquessa said, in answer to the poll in my previous post ("Could you ever write erotica for money?"), "I would just be overcome by the desire to create truly inappropriate Tom Swifties and end up giggling on the floor."

Then we both agreed that it is vitally important for me to open up the floor here and actually invite such Swifties.

I'll get the ball rolling with a tame one:

"I'll wear my cone-shaped Madonna bra for you," she said pointedly.

Now you!

And happy Thanksgiving.


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Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
darthbeckman
Nov. 22nd, 2006 09:05 pm (UTC)
"Oh! Darling! I love you! This is the greatest sex everrrrrrrr!" he exploded.
mollyringle
Nov. 26th, 2006 07:08 pm (UTC)
Considering older books use "ejaculate" as "exclaim," it could be even worse. :)
(Deleted comment)
mollyringle
Nov. 26th, 2006 07:08 pm (UTC)
Haha! That's good!
kijjohnson
Nov. 22nd, 2006 11:39 pm (UTC)
"C'mon baby, put on the crotchless knickers," Tom panted.

mollyringle
Nov. 26th, 2006 07:08 pm (UTC)
Hee! I like any mention of "pants."
dirae
Nov. 23rd, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
"It's not like I've bothered to measure it," Tom replied prickly.

"My crotch feels like it is on fire," Tom bemoaned crabbily. "I guess I shouldn’t have come," he exclaimed rashly while shifting uncomfortably in his seat.

"Oh! My! God!" Tom ejaculated.

"Your lips were asking for it," Tom said bitingly.



mollyringle
Nov. 26th, 2006 07:10 pm (UTC)
Hah! Very good! I especially like "prickily" or "crabbily"...
rachel2205
Nov. 23rd, 2006 02:57 am (UTC)
GODDAMN LIVEJOURNAL STOP EATING MY COMMENTS?!!!!!!

Let's see if I can remember them...

"I thought you said if I bought you the Cabernet Sauvignon you'd give me head?" Tom whined.

"I'd like to give you oral sex," Tom mouthed.

"I've never had sex in a campsite before," said Tom intently.

"I'd like to see your pussy," Tom purred.

mollyringle
Nov. 26th, 2006 07:10 pm (UTC)
*chortle*


"I've never had sex in a campsite before," said Tom intently. <--my favorite. So silly. :D
rachel2205
Nov. 27th, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
Heehee, I am glad you like! :D
teenybuffalo
Nov. 23rd, 2006 04:50 am (UTC)
I'm goin' to hell for this
"I'm a homosexual necrophiliac," said Tom in dead earnest.

(not mine, I stole it from somewhere)
rachel2205
Nov. 23rd, 2006 12:55 pm (UTC)
Re: I'm goin' to hell for this
Ahhaha!
mollyringle
Nov. 26th, 2006 07:11 pm (UTC)
Re: I'm goin' to hell for this
Bhahaha. That's pretty awesome.
(Deleted comment)
mollyringle
Nov. 29th, 2006 06:51 pm (UTC)
Hee hee! As a nursing mama I can especially appreciate the mammary reference.

By the way, have we "met" before? There was a Rich who worked for a POD place, with whom I exchanged emails a couple years back, but that's all my memory is turning up...
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )