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Oh, the connotations...TTT pervy lines

OK. Lines from The Two Towers That Sound Especially Perverted When Taken Out of Context. Here's the list so far of those that made the cut.

In order of how they appear in the film:

SAM: I don't think Gandalf meant for us to come this way.

MAUHUR: What do you smell?
UGLUK: Man-flesh!

EOMER: How long has it been since Saruman bought you?

GRISHNAK: Ooh, they look tasty.

UGLUK: Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys!

FRODO: I do not ask you to come with me, Sam.

GANDALF: Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword.

SAM: You can't take your eyes off it. I've seen you.

GOLLUM: Give it to usss raw...and wriggling!

FRODO: This creature is bound to me. And I to him.

FARAMIR: A chance for Faramir, captain of Gondor, to show his quality.

LEGOLAS: That is no orc horn.

GIMLI: You could have picked a better spot.

LEGOLAS: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
GIMLI: Let’s hope they last the night.

GIMLI: I’ll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!

PIPPIN: It’s too big for us.

GIMLI: Toss me. Don't tell the elf. [That has GOT to be the most obvious one of all.]

TREEBEARD: Hold on, little Shirelings. I always like going south. [I'm going to hell for that one. But it cracks me up.]

FRODO: I can't do this, Sam.
SAM: I know. It's all wrong.

...There were several that I considered, but ended up cutting because they were just a tad too subtle ("Frodo wouldn't have got far without Sam") or repetitive (countless times Gollum says "Come, hobbits, come"--would've gotten lame very shortly).


Can be updated and edited once we get a proper transcript. This one, upon closer inspection, is still missing bits. But still a valuable and worthwhile achievement.

Comments

( 41 comments — Leave a comment )
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gypsyjr
Jan. 5th, 2003 12:36 am (UTC)
*SNORTS loudly*

You may be going to hell for this, but I love you for it. ;)
jennae
Jan. 5th, 2003 01:01 am (UTC)
as do I.....
Somebody's got to do it hon. I'm just glad you make the time! :)
madri
Jan. 5th, 2003 12:42 am (UTC)
I randomly stumbled upon this page, and I just had to say, this has gotta be some of the funniest stuff ever. I laughed so hard, tears came out of my eyes. Thank you.
jmtorres
Jan. 5th, 2003 12:44 am (UTC)
GANDALF: Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword.

*gaspgiggle*

Bwee!
jedmiller
Jan. 5th, 2003 07:20 am (UTC)
That's the one I liked best too -- I think I actually snorted during the movie ... snorted reverently, of course...

Nice icon of Little Hands o' Concrete.
Re: - jmtorres - Jan. 5th, 2003 09:04 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jedmiller - Jan. 5th, 2003 09:14 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: - jmtorres - Jan. 5th, 2003 09:31 am (UTC) - Expand
picture missing - (Anonymous) - Jan. 5th, 2003 10:41 pm (UTC) - Expand
hollinelf
Jan. 5th, 2003 02:42 am (UTC)
I am never going to be the same when watching TTT again. I did notice some of those pervy bits, but now I know alot more. Heh, thanks!
mollyringle
Jan. 5th, 2003 11:32 pm (UTC)
I seem to be corrupting everyone...
hehe... and if we can count gestures as well as lines, just think about the way Frodo strokes that Ring while he thinks everyone else is asleep.
^_-
Re: I seem to be corrupting everyone... - hollinelf - Jan. 6th, 2003 05:08 am (UTC) - Expand
dandoubledtwice
Jan. 5th, 2003 03:32 am (UTC)
hilarious :)
moonliter
Jan. 5th, 2003 04:08 am (UTC)
SAM: You can't take your eyes off it. I've seen you.

haha this is so horribly amusing!
i'd never watch lotr in the same light again :P

thanks for that! :)
mollyringle
Jan. 5th, 2003 11:33 pm (UTC)
Some of the lines are a stretch, but yeah, that one really does sound perverted out of context. I'd nominate it for the top five.
chiabrit
Jan. 5th, 2003 07:26 am (UTC)
Nice, very nice :)

sonatine
Jan. 5th, 2003 06:37 pm (UTC)
LEGOLAS: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
GIMLI: Let’s hope they last the night.


This movie was just one big ball o'innuendo. I congratulate you upon picking out the best parts. *snicker*
touchofpineiro
Aug. 28th, 2003 11:17 pm (UTC)
This movie was just one big ball o'innuendo

Nice way to phrase that LMAO
cheerjess
Jan. 5th, 2003 08:12 pm (UTC)
It's so refreshing to read that others found themselves snorting and giggling through out the movie, from the film itself! : )
Aragorn's random smiles themselves had flapping my arms and chuckling itself!
thirteenthchime
Jan. 5th, 2003 10:33 pm (UTC)
For me, it was all those manly shoulder pats.
(no subject) - _redpanda_ - Jan. 6th, 2003 11:11 am (UTC) - Expand
psyche212
Jan. 6th, 2003 01:20 am (UTC)
rotf i'll never look at it the same way again :\
snowystingray
Jan. 6th, 2003 12:56 pm (UTC)
GIMLI: Toss me. Don't tell the elf. [That has GOT to be the most obvious one of all.]

The only thing I could think of for the longest time after that were MJ/Peter references. I suppose the actual footage was shot before Spider-man came out, but still...
twelveeyes
Jan. 7th, 2003 12:23 am (UTC)
*waves flag*
Got linked here by sweetfires. Love it.
(Anonymous)
Jan. 7th, 2003 06:47 am (UTC)
LOTR-TT
THIS WAS GREAT!! Just what I needed to lighten up my morning! Gratefully recieved from MORLITH. Just too damn funny!!

~Nik
iscaris
Jan. 7th, 2003 07:55 pm (UTC)
LEGOLAS: Your friends are with you, Aragorn.
GIMLI: Let’s hope they last the night.


This has got to be my favorite line ;D Thanks for sharing this -- it's hilarious.
gewgaw
Jan. 8th, 2003 05:36 am (UTC)
*roflmao*
Next time I watch TTT even more decadent perverse thoughts are going to run through my head.

All the more fun :D
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( 41 comments — Leave a comment )

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