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A joke.

(Found elsewhere on LJ. Paraphrased here.)

So, a guy dies and finds himself in hell. He's moping around, unhappy. Soon the devil shows up.

"Hey, why so glum?" asks the devil.

"What do you think? I'm in hell," the guy complains.

"Hell's not so bad," the devil says. "Are you a drinking man? Smoking man?"

"Yeah, I WAS," the guy grumbles.

"Well, down here, Monday is drinking day," the devil tells him. "Scotch, bourbon, gin, vodka, wine, beer - you name it. We drink all we want, all day long. Can't hurt your liver anymore - you're dead! And then Tuesday, Tuesday's smoking day. We have cigars, cigarettes - doesn't matter; you can't get cancer anymore, right?"

The guy is perking up now. "Good point. That doesn't sound so bad."

"And if you like gambling, well, Wednesday is gambling day," the devil goes on. "We've got a whole casino down here. Craps, blackjack, slots, roulette, whatever you like. Can't go bankrupt; you're dead!"

"True," says the guy, happier already. "This is actually starting to sound fun."

"Now, what about drugs? You like drugs?"

"Yeah!"

"Great! Thursday is drug day. I can hook you up with cocaine, pot, heroin, meth, anything at all. If you overdose, who cares?"

"Wow!" says the guy. "Hell really isn't so bad after all!"

"Now, are you gay?" asks the devil.

"Uh...no."

"Oooooh!" says the devil. "You're gonna HATE Fridays."


:D

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Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
saraahphim
Sep. 28th, 2003 06:10 pm (UTC)
That made me laugh :)
jedmiller
Sep. 29th, 2003 07:19 am (UTC)
Oh dear.

And I suppose on Saturdays, because many believe Jews go to Hell, they make everyone into hypochondriacs. And then on Sundays, because many believe Catholics go to Hell, everyone has to get nailed up.

And what about pervy Hobbit-fanciers?
katcat
Sep. 29th, 2003 09:31 am (UTC)
Pervy Hobbit-fanciers
They have to sleep with Gimli.

Not that Gimli isn't cool he's just not a hobbit, or an elf, or a ranger, or a horse rider banished from his land.

:)
jedmiller
Oct. 7th, 2003 01:33 pm (UTC)
Re: Pervy Hobbit-fanciers
...or at least toss him.
mollyringle
Oct. 8th, 2003 08:09 am (UTC)
Re: Pervy Hobbit-fanciers
*snicker* Aw, why didn't I think of that? My perv license apparently needs to be renewed...
jedmiller
Oct. 8th, 2003 08:11 am (UTC)
Re: Pervy Hobbit-fanciers
hmm... I think there's a test you have to take for that...
mollyringle
Sep. 29th, 2003 06:23 pm (UTC)
No idea - I didn't write it. I did wonder briefly what they do in hell on Saturday and Sunday - surely there are way too many "vices" for a mere seven days - but that's probably overanalyzing it, and it ceases to be funny then. Easier just to delete it...
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )