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Star Wars as written by P.G. Wodehouse

Playing off the previous entry, and because I'm a dork...
A scene from Star Wars, as acted by Jeeves and Wooster:

LUKE: Threeps, pack my cases! We're going with old Benifold Kenobi to Alderaan.

3P0: Alderaan, sir? Are you quite sure?

LUKE: Yes, can't hang about here, I'm afraid. Dear old Auntie Beru and Uncle Owen have finally shuffled off this mortal coil, as you know. If I stay, I'm dreadfully sure Lady Starleaper will be nosing about and trying to marry me off to her daughter Honoria--they're after my inheritance. Hoping some rich suitor will ignore the girl's bitter tongue and only notice her blue eyes, or some such rot.

3P0: Ahem. Indeed, sir. It would be a most unsuitable match. But don't you find Alderaan a bit far to run?

LUKE: Not at all. Should be lovely this time of year. Old Ben knows his way, and Hanfred Solo-Fitzwopper can give us a lift in his ship. Supposed to be devilish fast!

3P0: (sigh) Very well, sir, if you are quite determined.

LUKE: What, now, Threeps--I get the feeling you don't want to go!

3P0: I confess I am not at all fond of space travel, sir.

LUKE: Well, you shall just have to suck it up, as they say, for I am indeed quite determined. Determined to get some R and R, that is--oh, and pack my lightsaber, would you?

3P0: Your lightsaber? Do you anticipate fighting a duel, sir?

LUKE: (winking) One never knows, Threeps! One never knows. I hear there's a princess who needs rescuing, and I fancy myself just the fellow to do it!

3P0: Oh dear...

LUKE: Better match than Honoria Starleaper, what?

3P0: Ahem. I'm not entirely sure of that, sir.

LUKE: Why not? Threeps, you know something! I can tell you do. Spill it!

3P0: Forgive me, sir, it's only that Mr. Solo-Fitzwopper may have, shall we say, a "prior claim" there.

LUKE: Solo-Fitzwopper and the princess? Oh, Threeps, now you're just pulling my leg. Scruffy bloke like him--don't get me wrong; I like the man well enough--but him, with a girl of royalty? Really, you are too much.

3P0: If you say so, sir.

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Comments

mollyringle
Apr. 16th, 2005 10:16 am (UTC)
Thank you! I'm not sure there are many people equipped to get it, since Wodehouse is not as widely known as he should be. This is my way of spreading the word.