Mol (mollyringle) wrote,

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Things I have learned about myself in my 20s

In 10 days I turn 30, so I have compiled this list of "Things I have learned about myself in my 20s." This is not merely "Things I have learned in my 20s," as that would take up a lot more space. Instead I'm just focusing on me, me, me.

Family, friends, and other interpersonal communications:
My husband and family members are my best friends. I don't have any others. That's perfectly fine with me. I was blessed with a cool family.
The internet is a grand thing for my social-interaction needs. I can close the application if I'm tired of you, and no hard feelings. I do get tired of people and need frequent breaks, and it's usually nothing personal.
The best way to make friends is to hang around and be normal. Pretty soon someone else will show up, who is not at all normal, and will freak out the person you are trying to befriend. This will make you look wonderfully sane in comparison, and the person will turn to you for help and sympathy.
In fact, a good way to get ahead at work is to pick up the slack when your coworkers are absent or otherwise incompetent. Other people's mediocrity can really make you shine.
I almost never enjoy a political debate, especially if I'm involved. It isn't worth losing someone's friendship or affection over a difference of opinion regarding people neither of you will ever meet.
That said, if you're a rabid hatemonger of any persuasion--and I've met plenty on both ends of the left-right spectrum--then you aren't worth my time, and I will probably never consider you a real friend in the first place.

Taking pharmaceutical products for pain or illness does not tend to help me very much, and is seldom worth the side effects. Water, good food, sleep, massage, distraction, and laughter all work better.
I seldom feel any benefit from drinking alcohol, and what benefit I do feel can be delivered by merely one drink. I therefore prefer to nurse just one throughout an evening. I view this as a sign of good health. Other people tend to view this as a pathetic social failing. I don't think I'm the one who needs to get my priorities in order here.
I am a promiscuous slut when it comes to fragrance. I want to have one signature scent that I love and that everyone compliments me on, but I rarely discover such a thing; and even if I do swear fealty to a particular scent, I live in fear of it being discontinued, as fragrances often are. So I am constantly in search of not only the perfect perfume, but five or six reliable backups. I probably need to rein in this habit.

Health and beauty:
The following things make me feel healthy and happy: Dark chocolate. Sex. Laughter. Deep breaths of fresh air. Good music. Naps; or sleep in general.
I usually can't eat an entire meal at any given restaurant. Portion sizes are too big. I function much better with snacking and small meals throughout the day.
Pregnancy is, so far, both harder and easier than I thought it would be. I feared worse, yet hoped I would breeze through with no ill side-effects at all.
Keeping my eyebrows plucked into shape is a good idea. Someone should have taught it to me when I was a teenager. Instead I had to figure it out for myself when I was 25.
My hair is wavy. Not straight, not curly. It is best to embrace this, and work with it.
I have gotten sick much less frequently since a) making sleep a high priority, and b) taking vitamins regularly. (Currently, a prenatal multi, a calcium/magnesium, and a B-complex. I used to take vitamin C but that didn't seem to have much effect on whether I got sick or not. B-complex seems a much better boost to my immune system.)
In fact, I am unusually healthy compared to others around me, and in general am healthier now than I was when I was younger. 90% of what ails me is mental or emotional.

Geography and travel:
I never again want to live in California's Central Valley. Basically I never again want to live in California, at least until the crazy prices come down.
Three separate visits have confirmed it: I would like to have the UK as a second home. (Despite their crazy prices.)
When traveling, I prefer to make a base camp in one location, and visit the surrounding area from there, rather than drag my stuff from one town to another, spending the night somewhere new every day or two.
I used to think I liked winter the best. Now I like autumn and spring the best. The moderate weather soothes me. Thus I'm well suited to live in Seattle.

The arts:
I still want to be a novelist, but am much less enamored of the industry than I was as a teen. It will be okay with me if I'm not a best-selling, widely-recognized writer, as long as I'm a critically-acclaimed one. (i.e., I get a few good reviews in actual newspapers.)
It would also be pretty cool if I end up as a librarian.
The enjoyment of writing posts for LJ, and swapping comments, is almost equal to the enjoyment of getting feedback for fiction I've written. My enjoyment of writing a novel, however, and looking through the finished novels I have written, is unsurpassed. Creating and sustaining these other worlds is necessary to my sanity. I get unhappy when I'm between stories.
In my 20s I did a couple singing auditions for community theater, but I quite possibly might never do so again. Theater is tremendous fun, but I'll leave the singing to others.
I love reading fine literature, listening to fine music, and viewing fine artwork (in all its forms, including film), but I cannot stand the atmosphere of liberal-arts academia for very long, so I will only enjoy these things as a consumer and free citizen, and not as a scholarly "expert".
Though it happens rarely, I am still capable of falling head over heels into fangirly love with a book and/or film. Thank you, LOTR.
That said, I do not take fandom as seriously as many fans do. I enjoy laughing at the phenomenon of being so in love with these characters, because hey, I'm in love; I feel good. Other fans view my laughter as derision or sarcasm. I don't plan to change on this count, so I hope they lighten up.

List open to more items as I think of them...

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