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A fun topic for those reading LJ on a Friday: what's the worst pick-up/chat-up line anyone has said to you?

The one that sticks in my mind is the guy on a bus about ten years ago who interrupted my book-reading to say, "You shouldn't read so much. You should watch more TV." (Strike one!, I recall thinking.)

He followed it up with two more strikes, actually: when he said he was only kidding and asked what book it was, and I showed him that it was Hawthorne's The House of the Seven Gables, he said, "Never heard of it. Any good?" (Strike two!) And when I told him I had a boyfriend, he said, "So is that pretty serious?" Nah, I just mentioned it for legal disclaimer reasons, dude. Not because I wanted you to leave me the hell alone or anything. Strike three; yer outta the game!

Towing a toddler around does have its benefits, I guess. No one chats me up anymore. No, it's a good thing. Really.


Happy weekend!



( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 14th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
So is that pretty serious?

Wow that is awesome. Even I, as an idiot, understand what the mentioning of the boyfriend means. guy must have been seriously thick. Or full of himself. Or both. What a winning combination! :P
Dec. 15th, 2007 12:28 am (UTC)
Sometimes, even being married and showing off your rings doesn't deter them. Some guys are pretty egotistical.
Dec. 15th, 2007 07:02 am (UTC)
True, though some people are more married than others.

Interestingly, way more women make passes at me when I'm wearing my wedding ring than not. I've never quite figured that one out.
Dec. 15th, 2007 05:04 pm (UTC)
On the same front, my husband gets much more attention when he has our toddler son with him.
Dec. 18th, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)
I've noticed that effect. When my daughter was about two and a half, we were in the supermarket and she declared to a young woman passing by:

"You are really pretty!"
"But not as pretty as my Mommy!"

And thus was my virtue preserved.

Off-topic but essential: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071218/ap_en_ot/film_the_hobbit
Dec. 15th, 2007 09:27 pm (UTC)
The lure of the forbidden?
Dec. 15th, 2007 12:52 am (UTC)
Heheh--I'm sure you're much better at reading vibes! Yeah, he was a real catch. Glad I moved out of that town.
Dec. 15th, 2007 01:49 am (UTC)
Does it count if they weren't said to me? My friend told me about them.

With no other introduction, "I want to lick you all over"
"You smell like my first wife"
Dec. 17th, 2007 10:20 pm (UTC)
Heh! Charming. Especially the latter. Run away, I would...
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 15th, 2007 09:25 pm (UTC)
Unless memory fails me, that line worked. :)
Dec. 17th, 2007 10:21 pm (UTC)
I have the strangest impression that this one ended up all right. :) (Sounds pretty respectable to me in any case.)
Dec. 15th, 2007 10:51 am (UTC)
HIM: How old are you?

ME: 17.

HIM: You're legal.
Dec. 17th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
Niiiice. And in some states, 13 is legal, so think how much worse it could've been, depending where you were. ;)
Dec. 18th, 2007 02:42 am (UTC)
The worst thing is, my friend gave him my phone number! And he seemed really surprised when he called me the next day and I had absolutely no interest in going out with him!
Dec. 18th, 2007 09:16 pm (UTC)
Yikes. Time to slap a friend upside the head!
Dec. 15th, 2007 05:01 pm (UTC)
Once, in college, while I was reading "Touching from a Distance" before class started, a classmate of mine came up and said, "Touching From a Distance, huh? Want to come back to my apartment and look at Ian Curtis' coroner's report? I have a copy of it..." (I looked up at him, dumbfounded) "And the morgue photos!"

I may have a morbid personality, but that is not the way to get a girl to feel comfortable in your presence. It was only after a year of dating did Kevon show me his Buddy Holly death file and I shared with him all of my Black Dahlia stuff... :)

Another odd one: an immaculately dressed metrosexual in Baltimore said to me while I was browsing in a music shop, "Wow. That is a really nice purse."

The WTF one of the lot: This one happened at work when the new batch of teachers started. "Hey, you look just like a girl I know who works at Hooters, only her tits are much bigger." [I stared the guy down] "Have you considered implants?" [I walk away] He yells after me, "There is no reason for you to be rude!" He's a youth minister now.

This isn't a "chat up" line, but at Wal-Mart, a guy pinched my butt and when I whirled around he said, "You know you loved it" -- then he ran away pinching other women in a wild frenzy of minor molestation. They made announcements over the loud speakers to watch out for this fellow (I think it even made the news because he was found peeping in the changing rooms). This is just one of the many reasons I stay out of Wal-Mart unless absolutely necessary.

Dec. 17th, 2007 10:26 pm (UTC)
He's a youth minister now.

Oh dear. I suppose he spends a lot of time trying to "save" those poor sinners working at Hooters. :)

And the morgue photo one--yeah, highly creepy for a first intro.

Wal-Mart guy would almost seem amusing, except for the peeping bit. That does cross a line. ;)
Dec. 18th, 2007 05:29 pm (UTC)
A serious answer? Not strictly a pick-up line, but a huge turn-off, in case anyone out there is doing a study on What Turns Guys Off: Back in my single days (in the West which are forgotten), a friend to whom I was very attracted asked if I wanted to get together with her that weekend. "What about Bill?" I said, Bill being her boyfriend.

"Oh, Bill is only my boyfriend until someone better comes along," she replied.

Poor Bill. At the time I was too self-centered and immature to care much about Bill's feelings. (Actually, I probably still am.) But I was objective enough to realize that even though I might be a better deal than Bill, someone else might be a better deal than me. Shopping up shouldn't be quite that blatant.

//In a bar restroom in San Francisco:

(Guy at next urinal, looking over) Hey, can I give you a hand with that?

(Me) No, thanks, I can handle it myself.
Dec. 18th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
*laughs at line from SF guy* Well, that's nice and straightforward, anyway. And good foresight on Girlfriend of Bill. Poor Bill.

Hobbit movie: sweet! And it's funny, because my friends list literally has about six entries in a row from different people announcing this news, usually with a "Squeee!" Who can blame them, really?
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )