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I've just finished proofing the (electronic) galleys for The Ghost Downstairs (yes, I'll tell you once I have my release dates), so it's time for some lightweight material. What better for the occasion than this long, but hilarious, thread on the phrases in romance novels that drive readers crazy?

Considering it goes on for 700 comments and still running, I haven't read them all. But some of my favorites are:

"burning sword of his manhood"
a character having violet eyes (A peeve of mine for sure. I have never seen anyone with violet eyes.)
bodies turning to "molten lava" during sex
"laving" of nipples
"going blind" during sex (one reader writes, "all I can do is hope she isn't actually suffering a retinal detachment")
"releasing his boiling tribute into her"

Yikes. I better stop there before this post becomes unsuitable for minors.


Sep. 17th, 2008 10:54 am (UTC)
At first I agreed with the "Boiling?!? Ow ow ow!" school of thought, but then it struck me- clearly, these are phrases from a romance novel describing the forbidden love of two volcano gods!
This also explains the "tribute" (seriously? tribute?) and the "bones turning to molten lava" and the burning swords everywhere.
I think the title of this wondrous work is Love in the Lava and that there are also many many descriptions of spectacular eruptions.
I also think that I will never become a published author if this is the best that I can come up with. :) Congratulations, btw, and I'm eagerly awaiting your book!
Sep. 17th, 2008 11:43 pm (UTC)
Bhaha! Maybe you can publish a romance parody novel. Then the lava gods would get their chance to shine. (Pele's Passions?)