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Condensed parody version

Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )


( 578 comments — Leave a comment )
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Dec. 28th, 2002 08:26 pm (UTC)
great stuff :)
SAM and FRODO are sitting together on a rock. SAM stretches, and drops his arm around FRODO's shoulders.

EOMER: Hi! Okay, stop me if you've heard this one. An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into the Riddermark...
LEGOLAS: Ooh! And the elf shoots arrows through this git who rides up on a horse. Yeah, I HAVE heard it! That's one of my favorites.
ARAGORN: Down, Legolas. Hey, have you folks seen a couple little guys, about this high..?
EOMER: Nope. Oh! Unless they were in that pile of corpses we burned.
ARAGORN: Thank you; that's...useful...
EOMER: Yeah; my bad. Here, have some horses.

and all those other parts previously mentioned......

hilarious. :) I got this link through an Elijah Wood site (http://always.ejwsites.net/) and this is a GREAT parody. lol i'm quite impressed.

Dec. 28th, 2002 08:42 pm (UTC)
That was hilarious!!
Dec. 28th, 2002 08:56 pm (UTC)
XD Awsome.
Dec. 28th, 2002 09:32 pm (UTC)
I just got directed to here by a friend of mine... I have only this to say...

Dec. 28th, 2002 09:56 pm (UTC)
Oh dear... how absolutely marvelous. My friend voodoobaby reffered me aswell... absolutle halarious... You simply cannot be given any more props - May I add you to my friends list?

*points at captain obvious on his lj icon*
Even in real life, hes facial expression-ish
Dec. 29th, 2002 10:39 am (UTC)
Hehe...he may be expressionless, but he's pretty.

May I add you to my friends list?
Go ahead!
Re: - snow_spirit - Dec. 31st, 2002 09:55 am (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 28th, 2002 10:42 pm (UTC)
A little late, but...
I know, I'm late, but that was really cool...
Dec. 29th, 2002 01:58 am (UTC)
Frodo & Sam
Loved it, Loved it, Loved it... but c'mon. you can't tell me Frodo isn't as hot for Sam as Sam is for Frodo. Maybe add some of that in your "Return of the Kings" parody when you end up writing it :)
Dec. 29th, 2002 11:01 am (UTC)
Re: Frodo & Sam
Totally. In fact, I meant to include some of that, but forgot. Namely, when Frodo said (near the end of the film), "I want to hear more about Sam," it completely sounded like flirtation to me ("Hey, handsome, tell me more about you"). Maybe it was Elijah's delivery... :)
Dec. 29th, 2002 08:46 am (UTC)
GALADRIEL: (exaggerated sigh) Fine, whatever. I'll send Haldir or something. He's expendable.

Why not send Celeborn? We had our daughter already; he's served his purpose!
This was so funny! I loved the parts with "People who read the book." It was hilarious...(Legolas takes out the book and starts flipping through in confusion)
Elves are nimble,
Dec. 29th, 2002 10:31 am (UTC)
SAM: There are good things in the world. And that's what we're protecting. And up there, it's their time, but down here, it's OUR time...

Oh dear. I can't stop laughing. Because that is exactly what I thought the first time I saw the movie. He started giving the speech and all I could think of was Goonies. I almost laughed out loud in the theater.
Dec. 29th, 2002 01:22 pm (UTC)
OMG This is hilarious...
This is a real great work. I was thinking a lot of the same things when I watched it! Very funny!! I write my own fanfics with my friend Caran, and you can see them at:
It's called "Homie H. and the Triangle of Love." I hope you like it!
Dec. 29th, 2002 01:55 pm (UTC)
ha,ha,ha!!!! it's just WOW!!
Dec. 29th, 2002 02:04 pm (UTC)
Oh, and, additionally, where appropriate:

ARAGORN: Oh this? This thing came from this chick who keeps popping up where she's not really supposed to. But by now she should be in the Undying Lands. Unless she decides to teleport a kiss for me through a horse next time I fall off a cliff.

EOWYN: (aside) Dammit, he bangs elves. Maybe I can putty my ears to be more pointy...
Dec. 29th, 2002 03:26 pm (UTC)
Once again, Pippin's wily eyelashes save the world.

Dec. 29th, 2002 03:37 pm (UTC)
As if you haven't heard it enough times already, brilliant ^_^ Bravo, bravo! Highly enjoyable... one of the best renditions of Gollum I've seen so far in my meagre exploration of the fandom ^_^

Dec. 29th, 2002 07:33 pm (UTC)
Adding on to the myriad of praise...
ohh man, this is great! Ah, poor Sam, so in love. Heehee. I loved the Goonies thing, and the "Captian Obvious". I actually said that the first time I saw TTT! This is really great, bravo. F/S!
-ZoSo Gamgee-Baggins
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