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Condensed parody version

Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )

Comments

( 578 comments — Leave a comment )
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(Anonymous)
Dec. 29th, 2002 09:07 pm (UTC)
who is she?
WHO IS SHE????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
mollyringle
Dec. 29th, 2002 11:48 pm (UTC)
Re: who is she?
Look away, all ye who do not want to see spoilers.

I have no compunction about giving away the plot, especially since this is my favorite part of the trilogy:

She is Shelob, a giant (we're talking freaking huge), nearly-immortal, evil, venomous spider who lives in a tunnel in Mordor. Gollum has plans to lure Frodo and Sam into her lair...with particularly dramatic and sad results. That's all I'll say. (Unless you ask for more.) :)
looseemoo
Dec. 30th, 2002 03:51 am (UTC)
HaHAHahaHahAHA! Hey, if you made this a movie I'd watch it, for sure! Its good to hear from some other fans of the Actual Book as well as the Movie which is fab apart from a certain star of the evening being action girl. Funny stuff. Would you mind ever so if I add you to me friends list, you are of course, welcome to return the favour. Oh, and have you thought about posting this on fanfiction.net - tis quite good for the old ego boost...except...ofcourse, you've got quite a few...
okay, Lucy must go now as her brain hurts. Sorry. Its been fun.
Oh look! Its a quote from you! Sire, there are some really femmy people at the gate
Phew! Managed to blend in with the crowd.
mollyringle
Dec. 30th, 2002 12:56 pm (UTC)
Lots of people have added me without even asking (not that I mind), so go ahead. :)

I'm not registered at fanfiction.net, but this is now available at Library of Moria, the Femgeeks Tolkien slash site, and a few other random places where people have requested to archive it. And yes, the feedback doth rock.
Re: - looseemoo - Jan. 1st, 2003 09:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
findingbeauty
Dec. 30th, 2002 07:21 am (UTC)

::Just dead laughing.::

I love this. I could keep reading it over and over.

Now I want to make an "I almost had a facial expression from the joy of it!" t-shirt graphic.
skullx
Dec. 30th, 2002 08:27 am (UTC)
OMG this is hilarious! reminds me of an abridged script for SW episode 1 I saw when that came out ;)

Can I copy this and send it to my friends? pleeeassse? I'll give you all the credit! :D This work must be spread around the net posthaste! :D
mollyringle
Dec. 30th, 2002 12:58 pm (UTC)
Yes you may. As long as my name stays on it and nobody makes any money from it (without giving me some), I don't mind it being passed around. But it was kind of you to ask first. :)
(Anonymous)
Dec. 30th, 2002 12:33 pm (UTC)
OMG
That is the funniest thing EVER!!!! Good show!! Good show!!! :) I'm posting this so all my friends can read it too. Hehehehe. Oh...my sides hurt..


----Nikalyn
http://www.aspyre.net/nikalyn/
koreanfreak
Dec. 30th, 2002 01:41 pm (UTC)
friend's journal
Heee ^______________^ Did you make a FoTR parody? If you did, can you send me the link? ^______^
Hilarious. I usually don't laugh out loud while reading, but whoo. X)
mollyringle
Dec. 30th, 2002 09:56 pm (UTC)
Re: friend's journal
Thank ye. :) No, sorry, I didn't do an FOTR one...though others have, if you look around a bit!
weathermanphil
Dec. 30th, 2002 02:31 pm (UTC)
A Reference to the Goonies
SAM: There are good things in the world. And that's what we're protecting. And up there, it's their time, but down here, it's OUR time...

That was a great reference to "the goonies". I wonder if anyone else knew that sean astin was mikey in the goonies.

Wonderful parody!! Youre a great writer. You have just gained another friend in your "friends of" list. lol =)
rasa
Dec. 30th, 2002 04:09 pm (UTC)
I salute you, sir or ma'am, as the case may be. A masterpiece. :D
nostalgicecho
Dec. 30th, 2002 05:11 pm (UTC)
I know that I'm late on this (was just directed here by a friend) and you already have a gazillion comments.... but what's one more? ;p

That was SO funny! You are a really great writer... best of luck in all your future pursuits :)
gardenofeden
Dec. 30th, 2002 05:48 pm (UTC)
Referred by a friend
that was extremely good times!!
twas bloody brillant....i applaude you!
Sam's speech and the 'PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOKS' lines were very clever! ^_^V thanks for the thoroughly amusing summary/parody!
mrknowitall
Dec. 30th, 2002 05:53 pm (UTC)
LOL! That was "precious"!

Of course, now I keep replacing the images of Sam and Frodo with Dante and Randall from Clerks.
(Anonymous)
Dec. 30th, 2002 06:02 pm (UTC)
Tweak Underhill was here
You forgot the most inspirational part of Samwise's speech... where he says "go in there and win one for the Gipper" and then he catches the football and wins the game for the Irish!
pipu
Dec. 30th, 2002 07:06 pm (UTC)
I loved it the first time I read it (I just wan't in a commenting mood), and it's even better the second time. You must be pretty pleased with the response!

mollyringle
Dec. 30th, 2002 10:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Pleased, yeah...and kind of frightened... :)
princesstisha
Dec. 30th, 2002 07:08 pm (UTC)
PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK: (loudly) "SHE"? Did he say "she", and "her"? Who's "SHE"?

Yeah, that would be me. Who is she? *blink*
(Anonymous)
Dec. 30th, 2002 08:33 pm (UTC)
Bwuhaha! Beautiful!
Although you've probably heard it already...
This was a great parody!
And it was really a great summary.. and a hilarious one, at that.
You're a wonderful writer, keep up the great work!

::got referred by a friend::

Kat
http://deadjournal.com/~koneko616
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( 578 comments — Leave a comment )

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