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Condensed parody version

Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )


( 578 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 6th, 2003 11:54 am (UTC)
Just wanted to say that my fav part was the Goonies reference (although someone had already left a comment about that, I wanted to reiterate how hilarious it truly was). ^_^

Thank you for a good time. ;)
Jan. 6th, 2003 05:05 pm (UTC)

I don't suppose you have a saved version that you could email me so I could print it out and give to my friend?
Jan. 6th, 2003 08:09 pm (UTC)
There's a somewhat more printable version at my website, which includes a link to a text-only version (at the bottom). Let me know if that doesn't work.
Jan. 6th, 2003 10:58 pm (UTC)
LEGOLAS: Oh, good HEAVENS. You look TERRIBLE. You are NOT wearing THAT to the battle tonight, are you? And your HAIR! What will we DO with you?

This is brilliant! What a terrific job you did with this parody, the whole thing is here, and every line is perfect!
Jan. 7th, 2003 04:11 am (UTC)
Holding off on reading the books until after I see the last movie. But I love this.. thanks! :>
Jan. 7th, 2003 01:44 pm (UTC)
LOL! This is great! I enjoyed this sooooooo much. I am glad I stumbled on this
Jan. 8th, 2003 04:12 am (UTC)
loved it, but have to add a scene:
Haldir gets up and groans.
BIG UGLY URUK-HAI: (Growls) I killed you!
HALDIR: I was wearing mithril, dickhead! (Chops the Uruk-Hai's head off)
Jan. 8th, 2003 04:18 am (UTC)
Re: loved it, but have to add a scene:
Totally! HALDIR LIVES!!!!
Re: loved it, but have to add a scene: - (Anonymous) - Jan. 9th, 2003 05:33 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: loved it, but have to add a scene: - lougolas - Jan. 13th, 2003 12:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jan. 8th, 2003 03:57 pm (UTC)
this is the best summary ever. especially the sarcastic comment about gimli being funny on account of his stature.
Jan. 8th, 2003 11:47 pm (UTC)
aw-right! a goonies fan!

that's by far the funniest thing i've ever read on livejournal. i've seen the film three times and that parody shiz is dead on!
Jan. 9th, 2003 12:12 am (UTC)
This was hysterical! I thought I was the only one who had issues with the stone-face Legolas concept. The question is did he intend to act that way, or is he just facially challenged?
Jan. 9th, 2003 04:53 am (UTC)
that was helarious!
have you made one for fotr?
Jan. 9th, 2003 08:36 pm (UTC)
This was very funny. I forwarded it to many of my friends.
squarerootofpi added me to her friends list yesterday. I saw this post today on her journal. I went to your journal. You are a hip conservative ;), and you are funny. I heartily approve of you.
Jan. 10th, 2003 05:49 pm (UTC)
Re: This was very funny. I forwarded it to many of my friends.
Aww, thanks.

You sound incredibly noble and hardworking from your userinfo. I salute you, and am humbled. :)
Jan. 10th, 2003 04:11 am (UTC)
I was linked here by mortari. Great job of summarising. There're too many hilarious lines to list here, I'd be nearly copying the whole thing out again.

*snickers* Legolas' almost-facial-expressions were wonderful! (Thing is, you can actually see him fighting to control it in the movie...)
Jan. 10th, 2003 05:01 pm (UTC)
ha ha ha! thank you muchly for making me laugh at this wee hour of the night!

<copies, pastes and sends to everybody she knows...>
Jan. 10th, 2003 05:40 pm (UTC)
That is awesome!!!!
That was awesome an awesome parody!! My side hurts from laughing so hard!!!
Jan. 10th, 2003 08:28 pm (UTC)
LEGOLAS: Ooh! And the elf shoots arrows through this git who rides up on a horse. Yeah, I HAVE heard it! That's one of my favorites.

ARAGORN: Down, Legolas. Hey, have you folks seen a couple little guys, about this high..?

EOMER: Nope. Oh! Unless they were in that pile of corpses we burned.

ARAGORN: Thank you; that's...useful...

EOMER: Yeah; my bad. Here, have some horses...

one word. Oish.
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