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Condensed parody version

Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )


( 578 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 11th, 2003 10:04 am (UTC)
omg, hahahahah thats really funny
Jan. 11th, 2003 02:50 pm (UTC)
You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth.....
You took the words right out of my mouth and made them a whole lot funnier!!! I loved this, especially having read the books. In "FotR" I felt that most of the changes were good for a film version, or at least worked well. Not this time. Some of the changes REALLY annoyed me, so it's great to get the chance to laugh at them now. The only thing I think you missed was Faramir's change of character. In the film he is pretty much a clone of his brother in how he handles the ring. Saying something about his not being as strong or as good as he was in the book would be a good add. Otherwise, THANK YOU, especially for the times when I got to say "Neither did I"!
Jan. 11th, 2003 05:45 pm (UTC)
OMG, this was some funny shit! This was way awesome, I love love love love love it! Ahhahaa I swear I almost peed myself laughing so hard!
Jan. 12th, 2003 04:30 am (UTC)
TTT in a nutshell
You had me in stitches... this is fab! (and you didn't have to mention that you love this film *g*)

(I hope you don't mind if I quote you)
Jan. 12th, 2003 11:25 am (UTC)
very fucking funny...
Jan. 12th, 2003 11:41 pm (UTC)
ROHIRRIM GUARD: Oh! Elves! Wow, I didn't expect that.


hahah, just one of the gigglicious parts of your "summary". whew, i'm still laughing. i love it! especially the way you did the legolas/aragorn bit and also sam and frodo's final little joking scene about what hobbits will say about them years from now.

you're great. do you have such a think for Fellowship, by any chance?

also, i <3 your avatar on the BmB board
Jan. 13th, 2003 05:16 am (UTC)
Too Funny.....
I haven't seen the movie yet but when I do, I'm going to be laughing my ass off as I think of this version!
Jan. 13th, 2003 12:44 pm (UTC)
I know I've already responded to other people's comments, but I just had to add my own...

That was fantabulous! (Did I just make that word up? It's a good thing anyway.) I can't believe there are so many Goonies fans out there! I thought we were a dying breed, but obviously there are still a few. I can't pick any one line to quote, it's all great. Okay, I'll use this one...

TREEBEARD: Ooom....Damn it, hoom...how can I say no to those eyes.

After all, who could say no to Pip?!?!

Peace, Love, Empathy,
Jan. 13th, 2003 01:19 pm (UTC)
LEGOLAS: This is going to be most unpleasant. Hundreds of people will die.

ARAGORN: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

LEGOLAS: You're just jealous because I'm pretty.

ARAGORN: You're just jealous because I'm going to be king.

Hahaha that's great! I love it! Don't get me wrong...I like Legolas, but I DO agree, he says some pretty stupid things...hahahaha!
Jan. 15th, 2003 06:45 am (UTC)
your parody :-D
Too funny!! A friend of mine sent this link, so I figured I'd comment on the wit of it. My favorite part was "angssty little hobbittses" and the line about "you wouldn't look half bad in eyeliner".

Too funny, I'll have to keep checking back if you do parodies in your LJ often. Besides which I have too much blood in my caffeine stream so I couldn't focus to read the entire parody.
Jan. 15th, 2003 03:38 pm (UTC)
Oh my God!

This is hilarious!! I'd have shot noodles from my nose if I was eating spagetti!
Especially the [People who have read the book].....hahahaha!! ^^
Jan. 15th, 2003 06:36 pm (UTC)
Library of Moria
I rad this this afternoon on LoM. Wicked! LoM is nifty, ain't it? ^_^ Like it, veeery funny.


Hehe! Thanks for brightening my day. Now back to homeowkr...

Jan. 15th, 2003 06:40 pm (UTC)
Re: Library of Moria
I *READ* it, and I'm going back to *HOMEWORK*. Bloody, why can't I type?
Jan. 15th, 2003 06:43 pm (UTC)
wow!!! i luv this!!!! = D
Jan. 16th, 2003 07:32 am (UTC)
Very good but you missed some bits out
for example at helms deep battle with gimli, look uruk hai with spears I better jum on them and then escape without being impaled.
Then there's Aragon saying to Legolas "quick kill the orc with the bright shiny torch!" but no e only manages the two shoulders!, but whats really annoying he manages to skateboard down some staris while shooting down 4 orcs or summat like that!

Then there's Gandalf with the Rohan riders charging into a big mass of pikes without getting skewerd!

Finally how come Aragorn and co didnt see the smoke coming form the big ass fire the Rohan riders had set to burn the orcs???!?!?!

ps I was also expecting the WAZZZZZZZZAAAAAAP routine with the telepathic bit

But excellent I've mailed it to all my firends
Jan. 16th, 2003 01:03 pm (UTC)
you dont know me but...
i got this off a link from my friend, that was totally hilarious. you should publish it..or something.
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