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Condensed parody version

Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )

Comments

( 578 comments — Leave a comment )
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iamleaper
Dec. 19th, 2002 03:53 pm (UTC)
*applauds your summary of Theoden and Grima at Edoras*
saisha
Dec. 19th, 2002 04:03 pm (UTC)
sent by a friend who was sent by someone else.
fantastic! excellent writing! thanks for a good laugh.
twiee
Dec. 19th, 2002 06:12 pm (UTC)
I love you
burntotears
Dec. 19th, 2002 06:38 pm (UTC)
That was good... I want to see that movie too.. lol.
mollyringle
Dec. 20th, 2002 10:57 am (UTC)
Hah! Ooh, I would love to see them act this out.

Having a fit of giggles at the thought of Orlando and Viggo saying "bite my ass" and "blow me" to each other.
sigh... - (Anonymous) - Dec. 22nd, 2002 02:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Jan. 7th, 2003 06:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mollyringle - Jan. 7th, 2003 07:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
lush_rimbaud
Dec. 19th, 2002 06:47 pm (UTC)
ahahaha! this is hilarious.

Especially this:

ARAGORN: Gandalf! You're alive!

LEGOLAS: I almost had a facial expression from the joy of it!


ahahaha. That is, like, the best line ever.

*kisses*
angua27
Dec. 19th, 2002 07:46 pm (UTC)
That's exactly the line I picked out to quote 'cos it was so godsdamn funny! I love it and it was the first TTT parody I read so even more cheers. Plus, I love the icon, lush. v.funny.
(no subject) - lush_rimbaud - Dec. 19th, 2002 08:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mollyringle - Dec. 20th, 2002 10:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - opalexian - Dec. 24th, 2002 02:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - crystaldreams - Dec. 24th, 2002 05:25 pm (UTC) - Expand
insheepsclothng
Dec. 19th, 2002 06:56 pm (UTC)
Have just read this out loud to my boyfriend. We are both highly amused. ^_^

Great work!
(Anonymous)
Jan. 25th, 2003 09:37 pm (UTC)
it would be
"carpe canem", case you care
angelchildr
Dec. 19th, 2002 09:45 pm (UTC)
*sneaks in from her friendsfriends page*
*reads*
*giggles*

So very amusing.

ROHIRRIM GUARD: Sire, there are some really femmy people at the gate. They have bows.
ARAGORN: Those are Elves. Let them in.


The perfect description of elves. *laughs*

Thanks for making me laugh. *grins*
(Anonymous)
Dec. 23rd, 2002 04:57 pm (UTC)
BOWS.
They have BOWS? ^_^ My mind is screwed up. BOWS! *runs off laughing*
grey_wolf
Dec. 20th, 2002 03:14 am (UTC)
Chiabrit sent me
VERY funny - I am going to see the film this weekend :)
I'm a 'PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK' (and seen the original cartoony one)
(Anonymous)
Jan. 5th, 2003 08:13 am (UTC)
I'm upset that they never finished the animated version like they said they were going to. But anyways, it was a good first half.
LOTR cartoon - (Anonymous) - Jan. 29th, 2003 11:11 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Chiabrit sent me - (Anonymous) - Mar. 27th, 2003 03:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Chiabrit sent me - grey_wolf - Mar. 28th, 2003 06:15 am (UTC) - Expand
kev_bot
Dec. 20th, 2002 06:19 am (UTC)
This is perfect....
Directed here by a friend. I saw the movie Wednesday. Never read the books (OUT, YE HEATHEN!) Many of the more insane detractors of the film-as-adaptation (rather than the film-as-film) have made me want to read the books less. This made me want to read the books more.

THANK YOU!!!

Buzz
mollyringle
Dec. 20th, 2002 11:07 am (UTC)
Re: This is perfect....
Don't worry. I actually didn't start reading the books till February or March of this year, after seeing "Fellowship" for the second time. All my life I had believed those silly people who said the books were long and boring, and that I shouldn't bother. Well, those people were wrong. The books do meander in parts, but they're beautiful and certainly not boring. So, even though one year ago I was mostly uninitiated in LOTR, I can now spell "Caradhras" and "Osgiliath," and can tell Merry and Pippin apart. :)
Re: This is perfect.... - (Anonymous) - Jan. 2nd, 2003 12:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
lordreaibn
Dec. 20th, 2002 06:34 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *giggles insanely*

Great stuff! My friend shineyquarter referred me to this post, and I loved it. I am a huge JRR fan and this is hilarious... :D

Oh, and that Legolas = Captain Obvious? Dead on. I couldnt agree more.
(Deleted comment)
Re: - lordreaibn - Jan. 3rd, 2003 01:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Re: - lordreaibn - Jan. 3rd, 2003 02:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
jazzfish
Dec. 20th, 2002 09:02 am (UTC)
*snort*
If I were drinking milk it would have just come out my nose and sprayed all over my monitor & keyboard. You rule.
starfish82
Dec. 20th, 2002 11:08 am (UTC)
hee hee hee, you rock
GIMLI: What was that God-awful noise?

LEGOLAS: I'm guessing...wargs dying.

ARAGORN: Actually, it was Legolas's fangirl contingent, shrieking in delight at his horseback-riding tricks.


i laughed so much reading all of this, it's great!
fragilehaze
Dec. 20th, 2002 11:41 am (UTC)
hooha!
i definitely had to respond - most of the other comments have already touched upon the lines that were fantastic. you're a genius! much thanks to drfaust for pointing me to this. once again, he is my shining light :-P
evilsithlady
Dec. 20th, 2002 01:05 pm (UTC)
to slash or not to slash
The truly aspect of the casting and acting of FotR was, IMO, is that it gives itself to slash-type fanfiction so EASILY! I mean, it isn't such a difficult leap of the imagination, as it is with some movies.

Nice satirical writing there. Hope to see more of it! I'd even say I'd rather see more in that vein than a so-called serious review. I felt you said quite a bit that needed to be said in THIS one! I do plan to see TTT, and from what I gathered, I will enjoy it.
mollyringle
Dec. 20th, 2002 11:56 pm (UTC)
Re: to slash or not to slash
I certainly seem to have gotten more of a reaction by writing satirically than I would have by writing seriously. :) And, yeah, you're right; satire (and of course slash...*grin*) actually can bring out some worthy ideas, just in a slightly cheeky way.

Anyway, enjoy the film!
leggyslove
Dec. 20th, 2002 02:02 pm (UTC)
*SPEW* OMG! TOO FUNNY! <3 Legolas.
lougolas
Jan. 12th, 2003 12:51 pm (UTC)
OMG! I love your icon!
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( 578 comments — Leave a comment )

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