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Condensed parody version

Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )


( 578 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jan. 22nd, 2003 01:15 am (UTC)
Wow we's are laughing all the way in Iceland
Hellos from the capital of Icelandish paradise Reykjavik from two LOTR loving peoples!

We's were reading your parody and we's were laughing rather extraordinarily!

Super super well done we's was laughing especially at the call waiting joking - a chortle ha ha!

Thanks so much!
Riji and Kaila

Jan. 22nd, 2003 05:46 pm (UTC)
Can't stop laughing
I will never be able to watch the movie seriously again.

Best lines:

ARAGORN finds himself in RIVENDELL with ARWEN lying on top of him.
ARAGORN: Hmm. This must be a dream.
ARWEN: Why do you say that?
ARAGORN: Because you're not even supposed to be IN this book.
ARWEN: Don't be mean. I'll tell Daddy.
ARAGORN: Whatever. Wake me up, would you? Since it's not really you licking my face, I have the awful suspicion it's a horse. Or maybe Gimli.

Jan. 23rd, 2003 07:16 am (UTC)
*amused* soo true! I love about the people who have read the book, and people who haven't lines ehheheh:

ROHIRRIM GUARD: Sire, there are some really femmy people at the gate. They have bows.

ARAGORN: Those are Elves. Let them in.

ROHIRRIM GUARD: Oh! Elves! Wow, I didn't expect that.


Jan. 25th, 2003 05:34 pm (UTC)
Lol. Iloved that. See, I loved the movie, and I also loved the book, but your parody rocks :D
Jan. 26th, 2003 07:45 am (UTC)
Dude, I've never even SEEN the movie and I liked this! :) Good job!!!
Jan. 26th, 2003 09:27 pm (UTC)
Jan. 27th, 2003 11:00 am (UTC)
SAM and FRODO tie up GOLLUM.

GOLLUM: No! Smeagol not into ropes, nassty kinky hobbitses.

FRODO: We just want you to take us to Mordor, you sicko.

hehe... I like that.
Jan. 27th, 2003 02:56 pm (UTC)
loved ALL of it
my favorite part is :

ARAGORN: Down, Legolas. Hey, have you folks seen a couple little guys, about this high..?

EOMER: Nope. Oh! Unless they were in that pile of corpses we burned.

ARAGORN: Thank you; that's...useful...

EOMER: Yeah; my bad. Here, have some horses.

hehe :D
Jan. 28th, 2003 10:09 am (UTC)
Great job, I loved it. My favorite parts are the "people who've read the book" part -- I spent the entire movie going, "Hum, I wonder if I skipped this part due to too much description of the surrounding trees?"

I found this through a KNITTING blog and have posted it on both my knitting and regular blogs. This link is getting passed around more than I've ever seen, with the possible exception of True Porn Clerk Stories, which you can find at http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/tpcs.html if you care.
Jan. 28th, 2003 10:34 pm (UTC)
Wow...I actually hadn't seen that link before. That's fascinating, and hilarious, and kind of gross, and...gosh. May have to recommend it to others.

Knitting blog, huh? That is impressive. I'm flattered it's gotten so popular in so many places - thank you for letting me know (and of course for sharing that link). :)

-Molly, who will think twice about touching anything in a video store with bare hands ever again
Jan. 28th, 2003 03:26 pm (UTC)
Right On!!!
I read the books, saw the movies & you sum up the potential hysteria perfectly. Excellent parody!
Jan. 29th, 2003 11:16 am (UTC)
EOMER: Hi! Okay, stop me if you've heard this one. An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into the Riddermark...

LEGOLAS: Ooh! And the elf shoots arrows through this git who rides up on a horse. Yeah, I HAVE heard it! That's one of my favorites.

That's my fav one! It's really GREAT!!!
Jan. 29th, 2003 02:25 pm (UTC)
I like your version better
This is priceless. There are too many classic lines to quote, but this exchange always makes me crack up:

GIMLI: Aragorn! Toss me!
ARAGORN: Um, is this really the time?
GIMLI: Yes! Toss me!
ARAGORN: Look, I don't think about you that way...
GIMLI: No, you freak, throw me onto the Orcs!

Thank you. :)
Feb. 1st, 2003 08:33 am (UTC)

LEGOLAS: This is going to be most unpleasant. Hundreds of people will die.

ARAGORN: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

LEGOLAS: You're just jealous because I'm pretty.

ARAGORN: You're just jealous because I'm going to be king.

I'm sure you've had a million comments about this but LMAO, great parody :-)

Feb. 1st, 2003 11:51 pm (UTC)
Hi! Okay, stop me if you've heard this one. An elf, a man, and a dwarf walk into the Riddermark...
Great parody, I think you should have been onset working as script supervisor :D, anyways it's only a shame JRR couldn't be around to read this...
Feb. 7th, 2003 03:05 pm (UTC)
amazing job!!!
ROHIRRIM GUARD: Sire, there are some really femmy people at the gate. They have bows.

ARAGORN: Those are Elves. Let them in.

lol! this is great thanks for the laughs!
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