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Condensed parody version

Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )


( 578 comments — Leave a comment )
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Dec. 21st, 2002 04:30 pm (UTC)

was directed here by another user...i tell ya, that is simply superb! ^_^

Dec. 21st, 2002 07:22 pm (UTC)
Awesome. I loved it. I'd try to pick out quotes, but... too damn many. I loved all of them. ::bounces:: Saw TTT again last night, and this was a perfect follow-up.

Peace & Love,
(no subject) - kyesophina - Dec. 21st, 2002 10:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 21st, 2002 11:33 pm (UTC)
As far as I could tell, Eowyn was at Helm's Deep, but was back in the caves with the other women and children, not out front fighting. Even though she could handle a sword pretty well.

Heh, I didn't mean to rip on the non-book-readers too much...after all, I only read the books myself for the first time this year. But some stuff would confuse the audience if they hadn't read the books, and other newer stuff annoyed the book-traditionalists, so I wanted to capture all of that. ;)
(no subject) - jenk - Dec. 23rd, 2002 02:28 am (UTC) - Expand
Eowyn - (Anonymous) - Jan. 21st, 2003 02:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Eowyn - jenk - Jan. 21st, 2003 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 21st, 2002 10:44 pm (UTC)
Oh man, I was cracking up reading the whole thing.. I think my favorite part would have to be..

GIMLI: What was that God-awful noise?

LEGOLAS: I'm guessing...wargs dying.

ARAGORN: Actually, it was Legolas's fangirl contingent, shrieking in delight at his horseback-riding tricks.

GIMLI: Ugh, that's sickening. Ooh, Aragorn, watch out! Cliff!

ARAGORN falls off cliff.

LEGOLAS: No! This is unbearable! I almost had ANOTHER facial expression!
Dec. 21st, 2002 10:51 pm (UTC)
That was just bleedin' hysterical.
Dec. 22nd, 2002 01:32 am (UTC)
Yeah, there was alot I was expecting and I read the book too. Like the whole part where Theodien is like :No fighting, come along Eowyn so you can flirt more and creat unnecessary tension.

Flesh eating trees would have been so cool

Dec. 29th, 2002 09:43 am (UTC)
Perhaps you realise this but, flesh eating trees are what the book has, hence the comment.

(Or at least, an army of orcs tries to escape, gets cut off by the trees and the next morning there aren't any orcs ...).

Dec. 22nd, 2002 11:15 am (UTC)
Like everyone else says...
oh my gods this was funny!!

Thank you so much for sharing!

(friend of a friend)
Dec. 22nd, 2002 04:35 pm (UTC)
Oh my god. I haven't laughed this much in a while.

You don't know me, but I found a URL to this on a message board; it's been getting around, which I guess is a testament to its greatness. I look forward to future movie parodies, if you're planning any (I hope =o)
Dec. 22nd, 2002 09:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks for commenting!

Where's the message board, just out of curiosity? (I know there are about a thousand LOTR ones...) And, sure, I'll happily attempt other movie parodies in the future! This has been lots of fun. :)
(no subject) - shelbystripes - Dec. 24th, 2002 10:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mollyringle - Dec. 25th, 2002 03:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - (Anonymous) - Feb. 19th, 2003 08:18 am (UTC) - Expand
Dec. 22nd, 2002 05:19 pm (UTC)
This is better than a review. It's hilarious! I really haven't laughed this hard over a parody in a long time. Thanks! Oh yes, got here from a link on my friend's page. ^^
Dec. 22nd, 2002 05:20 pm (UTC)
Great stuff, I laughed like a drain. Although having seen the film I'd like to venture something that crossed my sordid little mind at the time:


EOWYN: So, er, you're not, um... taken are you? What with the bauble and all...

EOWYN'S SUBTITLE: Oh blast! Too bloody obvious. I hope he doesn't think I'm a slut.

ARAGORN: Er, sort of. Maybe. Um...

ARAGORN'S SUBTITLE: I wonder if she's into threesomes?


ARAGORN'S SUBTITLE: Phew! Saved by a fight scene.

Dec. 22nd, 2002 09:39 pm (UTC)
Haha! Love it!

Ah, how this fandom does lend itself easily to the naughty subtexts. :)
Dec. 22nd, 2002 06:23 pm (UTC)
*just about dies of laughter*

I can't even begin to tell you how funny this is.
Dec. 22nd, 2002 06:27 pm (UTC)
SAM: His gardener.

FARAMIR: Ohh, like in a 'Lady Chatterley's Lover' kind of way?

SAM: Exactly.

FRODO: Righ—What??

Snerk. And again, snerk.
Dec. 22nd, 2002 06:59 pm (UTC)
that is brilliant
(i couldn't say no to Pip's eyes either! ha! :P)

but yes, to sum up in one word: BRILLIANT!
Dec. 22nd, 2002 07:29 pm (UTC)
That's fucking hilarious. Oh god. GOLLUM: No! Smeagol not into ropes, nassty kinky hobbitses. YES! Those nasty kinky hobbitses! You totally summed up the movie how I saw it. Hee!

Great job!
Dec. 22nd, 2002 09:34 pm (UTC)
I think the whole internet fandom has been pointed here, myself included. And rightly so. It is brilliant.
I think you missed a line tho'.

In Osgiliath:
Sam: We shouldn't even be here Mr Frodo
Frodo: Damn Skippy we shouldn't!
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