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Condensed parody version

Yes! I saw The Two Towers. And yes! I loved it.

But before I write a "real" review--assuming I ever do; I mean, don't you guys have enough of those on your friends lists right now?--I give you this, a parody version of the script. Condensed of course. And subject to being very wrong in terms of chronology, since I've only seen the movie once so far.

Spoilers on EVERYTHING, and lots of lame slash-implication jokes. Read on if you dareCollapse )

Comments

( 578 comments — Leave a comment )
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snuzzie
Dec. 22nd, 2002 09:55 pm (UTC)
*giggles amused* I got your link from CassieClaire's VSD comments, so i decided to read it. *giggles*

I found it HILARIOUS!

HELM'S DEEP

ROHIRRIM GUARD: Sire, there are some really femmy people at the gate. They have bows.

ARAGORN: Those are Elves. Let them in.

ROHIRRIM GUARD: Oh! Elves! Wow, I didn't expect that.

PEOPLE WHO READ THE BOOK: Neither did I...


*snickers* You have talent. Major talent. Two thumbs up! *walks off chortling*
kira_tsukiyama
Dec. 22nd, 2002 10:15 pm (UTC)
she = the ring "precious" methinks
xandri
Dec. 22nd, 2002 11:48 pm (UTC)
Um, no, "she" would be Shelob.
BTW, great fic!!!
krikket
Dec. 23rd, 2002 12:18 am (UTC)
Mind if I send this off to my humor list?
mollyringle
Dec. 23rd, 2002 11:47 pm (UTC)
Fine with me. :)

It's also mirrored at this site and my webpage, among other places...
(no subject) - krikket - Dec. 24th, 2002 12:19 am (UTC) - Expand
ktargote
Dec. 23rd, 2002 01:08 am (UTC)
Beautiful...simply brilliant :-D
slytheringeek
Dec. 23rd, 2002 04:20 am (UTC)
As your LJ url drifts across the internet in an ever-widening circle of people you do not know, I say unto thee: Bloody nice work, that. :-D
mollyringle
Dec. 23rd, 2002 11:48 pm (UTC)
Elegantly put. I thank you. :)
(Anonymous)
Dec. 23rd, 2002 05:03 am (UTC)
LEGOLAS and other warriors start slinging arrows and jumping onto horses.
GIMLI: What was that God-awful noise?
LEGOLAS: I'm guessing...wargs dying.
ARAGORN: Actually, it was Legolas's fangirl contingent, shrieking in delight at his horseback-riding tricks.


and

GOLLUM: (mumble, mumble)...Kill...(mumble)...death to hobbits...(mumble mumble)...feed them to HER...(mumble, mumble)...pain, suffering...(mumble)...make them cry...(mumble)...kill hobbitses...(mumble) ...she will destroy hobbitses...
PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK: (loudly) "SHE"? Did he say "she", and "her"? Who's "SHE"?
PEOPLE WHO HAVE READ THE BOOK: SHUT UP!


Hahaha. Both of these happened when I was watching. Great work!
leokhorn
Dec. 23rd, 2002 05:30 am (UTC)
Wow, I've never seen so many comments on one post XD. But you really deserve it, it's funny as hell ^_^
lenny201
Dec. 23rd, 2002 06:00 am (UTC)
(slipped here via Rachel's journal)

I haven't seen TTT yet, but I can't wait til I do, and this was a really grand little teaser =P

hah your Sam and Frodo scenes cracked me up; at the very end of FoTR, my friends and I have ruined the scene with the two nearly every time we watch it... you know when Frodo turns to look at Sam at the end, and Sam has that suggestive smirk on his face?... lol well just when he turns one of us says, "Sam... get your hand off my ass."

It fits perfectly, too.
mollyringle
Dec. 23rd, 2002 11:50 pm (UTC)
Welcome, friend of Rachel!

Hehehe...that really would fit perfectly. Great; now that's all I'm going to think when I see that scene. :)
(no subject) - lenny201 - Dec. 24th, 2002 07:54 am (UTC) - Expand
relevantpink
Dec. 23rd, 2002 07:42 am (UTC)
*snickers with delight* I'm yet another random reader following a friend's link. Of course, like the rest of the legions who've commented, I love it! =D

EOWYN: Yes. My only fear is dying a virgin. Hint, hint.
ARAGORN: Okay! Well, let's move along.
lol... I can just SEE this!

if you happen to like (or are familar with) star wars and harry potter as well as LotR, you may enjoy my bit of nonsense: The Hobbit, The Wizard, and The Jedi. I feel dirty linking myself! but i have done it, so be it! ~_^
mollyringle
Dec. 23rd, 2002 11:57 pm (UTC)
Haha--went and read the fic--loved it! That's a great idea for a parody, and I'm glad you picked on Anakin's annoying teen angst. :D Well done.

As to linking oneself, eh, I did it to cassie claire's journal, so don't worry about it. :)
imtindome
Dec. 23rd, 2002 07:44 am (UTC)
Mah-velous!
Hey, I too was directed to your LJ by others! And I can't say anything else that hasn't been said already!

Just thanks a lot for a great laugh!! Laughed my silly head off and of course, that must be shared. So now others will be directed to your LJ as well. Honey, you're becoming popular. ;)
arkibet
Dec. 23rd, 2002 09:17 am (UTC)
Wowzers!!! I loved the three way telepathy. It was exactly what I was thinking, except you didn't have the: "Hey, weren't you in Precilla Queen of the Deserts? You really were one ugly looking woman."
mollyringle
Dec. 23rd, 2002 11:59 pm (UTC)
*snicker*

I'd pay some good money to see Elrond and Legolas do a drag show to Abba's "Mamma Mia". (Not that Legolas would have to change much, to end up in drag...)
(no subject) - arkibet - Dec. 24th, 2002 01:48 pm (UTC) - Expand
barely_bean
Dec. 23rd, 2002 09:25 am (UTC)
LEGOLAS: You can bite my ass.

ARAGORN: Hey, blow me.

(Ten minutes later)


Okay that missing scene better be on the extended DVD version when it comes out. ;)


mollyringle
Dec. 24th, 2002 12:02 am (UTC)
Haha! Hmm, that isn't quite what I meant to imply by "ten minutes later", buuuut....yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing that on the extended version, either. ;)

(As has been noted elsewhere, Aragorn has way more chemistry w/ Legolas than w/ Arwen.)
(no subject) - trishalynn - Dec. 28th, 2002 05:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
raven_auriga
Dec. 23rd, 2002 11:54 am (UTC)
*Very* funny! I haven't even seen the movie yet and it's already corrupted! This will garantee even more laughing when I do g see it. Thanks :)
helzebel
Dec. 23rd, 2002 11:55 am (UTC)
Dude, that is great XD
_littlespark
Dec. 23rd, 2002 01:42 pm (UTC)
ARAGORN: Actually, it was Legolas's fangirl contingent, shrieking in delight at his horseback-riding tricks.

LMAOLMAO

i think that was the funniest thing i've read all year :)

xoxo

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( 578 comments — Leave a comment )

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