May 24th, 2004

Froud - bad faeries

Bludgeoned to death with fortune cookies

I have a new entry to add to my long-neglected Ambiguous Billboard Philosophy page:

"Most knocking is done by those who are unable to ring the bell."

Say it with me now: "Wtf?"

It is currently posted on the advertisement board of a small business along my commute. It has nothing to do with their line of work; they just like to put up Inspirational Sayings. But it's starting to drive me freakin' nuts, because this jaunty little statement, like most of theirs, means nothing if you think about it.

They seem to be saying that if you want to get someone's attention, then, well, it's pointless to knock on the door, my friend. Get with the times, and ring the doorbell! Only then shall you get an answer! Knocking--so passe! Who answers a knock anymore?

To which we all reply, reasonably, "Well, I do." Knocking, as far as I know, is still regarded as a perfectly valid way of getting attention at any door, even The Door of Opportunity - which, since it isn't a real door, shouldn't be constrained by these knock-vs-bell arguments anyway.

Or maybe they just meant it literally: if someone knocks, then it means they cannot (for one reason or another) activate the doorbell (assuming there is one). That would make this statement a tautology - a word which here means "a statement of the stupidly obvious." How is that supposed to enlighten me on the drive to work?

Honestly, what were they trying to say? Any ideas? Because I'm at a loss.