May 2nd, 2021

Froud - bad faeries

Demi ponderings

I only lately learned we demisexual folk count as LGTBQ+, according to many. Would thus like a word with those who sliced stars off All the Better Part of Me because it wasn't #OwnVoices.

Granted, I'm still not a tall cis bi man, so it's still not OwnVoices that way.

One would also be forgiven for being surprised to hear I'm demi, given the general sex-positivity and/or perviness of my writing and attitude. It confuses me too. But it seems to boil down to "perv on the page and in imagination, demi in real life."

I'm only now learning how common this is! Demisexuality is considered (depending who you ask) a part of the asexuality spectrum. And I previously thought ace meant not having any sexual interest ever, but have lately learned it often means liking sex in theory and/or as a physical sensation, just not being attracted that way to actual other people.

For me it's always been like, "Huh, I'm so weird, because clearly many people would honestly sleep with most of those they find good-looking, whereas I only feel that way about, like, 1% of those I know, even when I find them aesthetically attractive. But I approve of those who are more sexually active, and I like to write about sex and romance. Hrm."

The short term for all that, more or less, is "demisexual." And depending on who your gatekeeper is, it might count as queer. So. Huzzah!