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A few rules for the third trimester

These can be applied to anytime during pregnancy, really, as no two women ever experience the same torturous miraculous process.

1. Drink three times as much water as you think you need. Just do it; you'll feel better.

2. Any of the following now count as exercise and entitle you to sit down and rest a while after doing them:
a. Unloading the dishwasher
b. Folding and putting away laundry
c. Carrying groceries from car to house
d. Walking one block to put something in mailbox

3. Given strenuous caloric requirements upon your system, it is fine and advisable to buy Oreos and Cheetos and ice cream in one grocery store trip. You need the energy.

4. Start planning now for your birth and post-partum experience. It is important that your whole family be aware of your preferences; namely, who will bring you your first shot of hard alcohol after the delivery, what that alcohol will be, and how it should be served. (Honestly, how unfair is it that we can't drink? Who needs it more than we do??)



( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 2nd, 2009 12:15 am (UTC)
Newman Os= better than Oreos. I had a couple of Oreos today. No comparison.
Plus they are organic and give the illusion of healthiness people who love junk food need.
May. 3rd, 2009 04:08 am (UTC)
I usually do get Newman-Os, actually! But yesterday Oreos were on sale, so I figured, what the heck. My favorite Newman cookies are the chocolate chip varieties in the bags, though. (Champion Chip, I think they're called.) The orange or mint ones...mmm.
May. 3rd, 2009 04:10 am (UTC)
Those are pretty good, but as a chocolate purist (having consumed a dark chocolate brownie sundae with homemade fudge sauce and breyer's chocolate ice cream, I wonder if I'll ever get tired of chocolate. Not likely) I usually go for the plain ones, but the double chocolate Newman Os make me float around the house. I must test them in haagan daas ice cream.

But they are so danged expensive most places! Only Ocean State Job Lot has them at a reasonable price, but I buy them from time to time and think, I am supporting charity. That is a noble thing to do. Now for milk.
May. 2nd, 2009 12:36 am (UTC)
That first one works even for non-pregnant people.
May. 3rd, 2009 04:08 am (UTC)
Probably true. I just notice the difference more when preggers.
May. 2nd, 2009 01:53 am (UTC)
I say go for it and eat all the Oreos, Cheetos, and ice cream that you want - you've got the perfect excuse.
May. 3rd, 2009 04:09 am (UTC)
I like your reasoning. :) And I can only use that excuse a couple more months, so I better do what I can. Then again, while breastfeeding I can use it too, since I'll sort of be "eating for two."
May. 2nd, 2009 03:54 pm (UTC)
LOL! I feel like I need to rest after doing any of those things, too. Ha! :-)

Hope you and yours are well! *hugs*
May. 3rd, 2009 04:09 am (UTC)
It's exhausting being us, isn't it? :) Hugs to you and yours too!
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )