I haven't actually read Breaking Dawn nor seen the film, but if it's as cracktastically Gothic as Cleolinda Jones' parody indicates, I might eventually have to. I mean, that's totally an improvement on the tepid I-won't-bite-you-until-we're-married previous three books.
Read it all: http://m15m.livejournal.com/22931.html
Excerpt of hilarity:
EDWARD: So… big white bed. Four-poster. Alice said to spring for the filmy white drapery so it can flutter in the sultry tropical breeze. She says there's always a sultry tropical breeze. This kind of place, it comes standard. I feel cold. Do you feel cold? Maybe we should go for a swim first. In the warm, tropical water. Because it's warm. And I'm cold. I'm babbling. Are we going to have the sex any time soon?
BELLA: *looks down, shuffles feet, bites lip*
EDWARD: OH MY GOD YOU'VE BEEN HUMPING MY LEG FOR THREE WHOLE MOVIES NOW WHAT IS YOUR DEAL
Read it all: http://m15m.livejournal.com/22931.html
Excerpt of hilarity:
EDWARD: So… big white bed. Four-poster. Alice said to spring for the filmy white drapery so it can flutter in the sultry tropical breeze. She says there's always a sultry tropical breeze. This kind of place, it comes standard. I feel cold. Do you feel cold? Maybe we should go for a swim first. In the warm, tropical water. Because it's warm. And I'm cold. I'm babbling. Are we going to have the sex any time soon?
BELLA: *looks down, shuffles feet, bites lip*
EDWARD: OH MY GOD YOU'VE BEEN HUMPING MY LEG FOR THREE WHOLE MOVIES NOW WHAT IS YOUR DEAL
Comments
But the book s-u-c-k-e-d. I didn't even give it a 1 star rating. Horrible, bad fanfiction is what it was.
I also recommend Dan: http://community.sparknotes.com/2009/07/16/blogging-twilight-index-page
Dan's notes: Hah! Oh, I'm going to have fun browsing through those. Thanks!
I honestly believe that Meyers wrote down the dream she had thought, "OMG this is sparklemazing!" and sent it to a publisher. The publisher then thought, "OMG tweens will love this!" and published it. No rewriting, no fine tuning, no spit and polish.
I fear that's all too close to what happened. It's truly annoying to those of us struggling to write successful novels. Then again, I'm not sure I'd switch places with Meyer, given the number of haters she has, even if it meant also getting her bank account.
But perhaps we writers can take heart in the idea of writing slightly absurd YA paranormals as long as they "ring true" to the youngsters. Maybe we can get rich too!