Do any of you drive while talking on your cell phone?
If so, then stop it right this fucking instant. Oh, but you're a good driver, you say? You can handle the pressures of talking and driving simultaneously, you say? You're not like all those other morons, you say? Yeah, well, I'm sure the genius who almost ran into me today thought she was pretty good at it, too.
I'm breezing along in the bike lane, past a line of cars delayed in traffic (because that's the beauty of biking; you get to breeze past cars delayed in traffic), when suddenly, a white car veers in front of me, impatient for that shortcut to the next street. Would have hit me if I hadn't seized up on the brakes and screamed like a girl to get her attention. She looked very humbled and scared (cringing pathetically there, with her cell phone still clutched up against her ear), but I didn't stick around to chat; just glared intensely, several times, and moved past, since I wasn't hurt.
Weird that I screamed, incidentally. I don't usually scream when startled. It seemed to be strictly a method of alarming her and getting her to stop, high-pitched screeches generally working wonders for that. Nice to know my reflexes are in order, there.
But if this little tale can keep any one of you from smashing into someone, then it was worth telling. So, to recap: Hang. The Fuck. Up. And Drive.
Oh, and bicyclists? Wear a helmet. Never know when some idiot motorist will neglect to look in their mirrors.
P.S. No, I don't usually swear like a sailor, but this calls for it, methinks.
P.P.S. Oh, yeah, Happy Valentine's Day. Pink and red still look horrible together, world; didn't you get the memo?