You know, I just have one simple request, and that is to have frickin' dolphins with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.
Heh.
I know the dolphins and sea lions don't quite realize the possible danger they're in, but even so, I think it's way cool that they can do this. For this honor, they are now on my top four list of Best Non-Human Mammals. (Sharing space with dogs and elephants.)
("Best" here means "most useful to humans.")
(No, I will not add cats to this list.)
Edit, 3/26/03, roughly 12:40 p.m.:
OK, look, people:
This is MY list of best mammals; you guys can like cats better than dogs for whatever crazy reasons you want. You just won't convince me. Because I'd like you to show me cats who sniff out drugs/bombs/criminals/missing persons, guide the blind down the street, herd sheep/cattle, bring medical supplies to people on battlefields or in avalanches and lie down beside them to keep them warm, or jump into icy water and haul a drowning person to shore.
You might find a few individual cats who can be trained to do some of these things. But you will find, for every one of those cats, whole armies of dogs who can do the same thing, and do it willingly.
Yes, there are stupid useless dogs out there. Lots of them. Yes, cats can be pretty and soft and warm, and when they're not being schizophrenic they can actually be friendly. But on average, dogs blow cats out of the water in terms of actual applied usefulness to and cooperation with humans. I just do not find this disputable. We've spent a lot more time breeding dogs for specifically these uses. Maybe equal breeding with cats (start with a larger variety, I'd suggest, like tigers) would someday return the same results; who knows.
By the way, Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein would probably agree with all you cat-lovers and dog-despisers. Islamic fundamentalists usually revere cats but hate dogs. Quite frequent to have dogs banned and killed in some of the more brutal Islamic countries. I think this tells us a lot. ;)
Heh.
I know the dolphins and sea lions don't quite realize the possible danger they're in, but even so, I think it's way cool that they can do this. For this honor, they are now on my top four list of Best Non-Human Mammals. (Sharing space with dogs and elephants.)
("Best" here means "most useful to humans.")
(No, I will not add cats to this list.)
Edit, 3/26/03, roughly 12:40 p.m.:
OK, look, people:
This is MY list of best mammals; you guys can like cats better than dogs for whatever crazy reasons you want. You just won't convince me. Because I'd like you to show me cats who sniff out drugs/bombs/criminals/missing persons, guide the blind down the street, herd sheep/cattle, bring medical supplies to people on battlefields or in avalanches and lie down beside them to keep them warm, or jump into icy water and haul a drowning person to shore.
You might find a few individual cats who can be trained to do some of these things. But you will find, for every one of those cats, whole armies of dogs who can do the same thing, and do it willingly.
Yes, there are stupid useless dogs out there. Lots of them. Yes, cats can be pretty and soft and warm, and when they're not being schizophrenic they can actually be friendly. But on average, dogs blow cats out of the water in terms of actual applied usefulness to and cooperation with humans. I just do not find this disputable. We've spent a lot more time breeding dogs for specifically these uses. Maybe equal breeding with cats (start with a larger variety, I'd suggest, like tigers) would someday return the same results; who knows.
By the way, Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein would probably agree with all you cat-lovers and dog-despisers. Islamic fundamentalists usually revere cats but hate dogs. Quite frequent to have dogs banned and killed in some of the more brutal Islamic countries. I think this tells us a lot. ;)
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Comments
*so long and thanks for all the fish*
Horses? (+mules, donkeys, ponies) shouldn't they be on your "Most Useful To Humans Non-Human Mammals" list? Where would we be without horses?
(And yes, the black death had some major benefits on Western civilization, but we probably would have never gotten that far without cats)
So don't front ;)
And dammit, the yeasts that make beer for us should be granted honorary mammal status, too.
But, true, I hadn't thought of the Black Death connection when putting this list together. Keep in mind this is not a very official list, nor did I give it much thought. It's just hard to imagine cats being used in a systematic and reliable way, comparable to bomb-sniffing dogs and so forth. Still, as one who grew up with about 65 kittens and 5 cats over the course of my childhood (we had a very prolific calico), I'm well aware of the potential cuteness and sweetness of cats...
Cat thinking: "This person gives me food and shelter, *I* must be a god."
Still like cats better...they don't chew stuff as much.
And I agree about the cat thing. All my cat does is eat food, piss on my carpet, and look at me resentfully when I offend her sensibilities.
Of course, I still love her. But she's totally useless...unless the government is looking for mammals that can "supervise".
Smart sea mammals.
I think manatees are under rated though. And cute. *grin*
I love my cat, psycho Royal Princess of Fuzz that she is, but I don't hate dogs.
Long live cool aquatic mammals!
And mucho cool for the "hitchhikers guide to the universe" type quote. *grins*
I'm always kind to cats, even though 75% of them act psycho when I come near. I climbed up a precarious ladder just the other week to rescue one who was sitting on the roof yowling. Rather than come within my reach, she took a flying leap into a tree and got down herself. *sigh*
Hmm, someone else posted a 'Hitchhikers' Guide' quote ("So long and thanks for all the fish")...mine ("frickin' laser beams...") was of course Dr. Evil from 'Austin Powers.' :)
And then he GOT the sharks with laser beams on their heads in Goldmember. *grins*
(Is it wrong to find Scott Evil kind of cute?)
Seth seems like a cool guy, too, from the times I've seen him on talk shows and such.
As for the rest, well, if I wasn't so well adjusted...I might take it personally, girlie. ;)
It wasn't aimed at you, but I did wonder if you'd rise to the bait. ;) Anyway, I never said anything about their relative merits as pets, which is all that's relevant to most people. I still guarantee (and you well know) that you could not find near as many life-saving cats as life-saving dogs. But, as pets, cats tend to take care of themselves more, and require less attention, so in some ways they're easier to live with.
Elephants may be extremely cool (and not just for their symbolism in a certain party), but unless I had a whole lot of acreage and money, I think I'd rather have a cat as a pet than an elephant.
(But I'd still rather have a dog than a cat.)
*blink* Yep. It's official. I've lost my mind.