Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Liberté, Egalité, Androgyné

(I know. That's not really French.)

Ways in which I am more like a stereotypical male:

1. I forget birthdays, anniversaries, and Hallmark-holidays constantly, and I don't expect much to happen on them.

2. I play trash-can basketball with crumpled-up Kleenex, paper towels, etc.

3. Some lustful thought or salacious innuendo flits across my mind roughly every 17 seconds.

4. I can do push-ups. (25 in a row.)

5. I roll my eyes and/or make cat-with-hairball noises if faced with unforgivably sappy lines in movies.

6. With very few exceptions, I will not wear pink, nor things with heart shapes on them.

7. I pretty much never paint my fingernails.

8. I'm not very good at sewing, knitting, or home decorating, and don't have much interest in learning them.

9. I hate wearing high heels or other "cute" shoes that cut and mangle my feet and have no traction.

10. I dabbled in skateboarding as a child.

11. I hated most of the wedding preparations. Faffing about with ribbons, flower arrangements, white shoes, something borrowed, something blue, and something to strangle myself with, seemed kind of a waste of time.

On the other hand: ways in which I am, indeed, a stereotypical female:

1. I did enjoy wearing the wedding dress and the fancy accoutrements. In fact, in all honesty, I would also enjoy having an occasion that gave me an excuse to wear a tiara.

2. I am addicted to chocolate.

3. I own and use an impressive array of cosmetics and hair-care products.

4. "Orlando! Elijah! Ewan! Jude! *squeee* They're so cute!" (Yeah, I even make myself sick sometimes. But, in my defense, I ask you to look at Orlando in this post of kateelvellon's. I mean, for the love of everything holy, how could anyone possibly think his froo-froo-Legolas-blond look was better than that? Granted, I kind of wish he'd shave. Oh, and pay no attention to where his left hand is. I said pay NO attention. Hey, quit staring; I saw him first.)

5. I have almost no interest in sports whatsoever.

6. I played with Barbies and My Little Ponies as a child.

7. I dislike camping. It involves going without electricity and hot running water and locked doors for too long. Not to mention the bugs. And the greasy layer of sunscreen. And the dismalness of granola bars. Isn't this why we invented houses and major appliances in the first place?

8. I have a keen sense of smell. Sometimes eerily so.

9. I can name hundreds of colors, but can only identify about five makes of cars. (VW Beetle, Datsun Z-car, VW bus...uh...PT Cruiser...uh...)

10. I do own some lacy undergarments. And some lavender ones. (But nothing lacy and lavender at the same time.)


( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 22nd, 2003 04:51 pm (UTC)
Re: #4 -- Amen Sistah! LOL! I got to partake in a lovely discussion of natural dark vs. Lego blonde with a co-worker this evening...and trust me, it's *really* funny to hear her go on in a fangirlish way about *anything*, LOL!
Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:30 am (UTC)
Natural dark Orlando...sounds like a microbrew. Or a type of chocolate. Mmm. And yes, it is clearly way better than Lego-blonde.
Apr. 22nd, 2003 05:44 pm (UTC)
Hmmm... we are oddly similar (which is pleasantly suprising, albeit a bit spooky). Too bad you're all West Coast. I wouldn't mind having tea with you. :)
Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:31 am (UTC)
Why, thanks. I like tea as well. :) (Mostly herbal tea, but that's inconsequential...) If I'm ever on the East Coast, I'll look y'all up. Healthily balanced people are so hard to find...
Apr. 23rd, 2003 05:52 pm (UTC)
Corrupting the minds of the youth of the nation (this doesn't fit with the topic here, I know...)
I couldn't wait to share this with you. I heard some of my Literary Magazine students talking about LOTR fan fiction. Eventually, the conversation turned to slash and one of them said, "I found some great LOTR slash written by this chick..." That piqued my interest. "LOTR slash?," I asked. "Yeah, Mrs. Wilt, you wouldn't know what it is..." They tried to hide the print out, but I snatched it from them. Lo and behold, it was some of *your* slash!

So you are famous with the teen set of hobbit fanciers in Berryville, VA. After mentioning that I've known you indirectly for a number of years, one of my students said: "She's so cool... and so dirty!"

Teeheehee. I had a nice chuckle from all of this and hope you do too.
Apr. 23rd, 2003 08:35 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha! Wow...that makes my day. The All-Slash version of "Fellowship," I assume? (Not sure what else of mine would count...)

I have this suspicion that slash, and pervy hobbit fancying, are becoming a lot more widespread than most people realize. This event either confirms it, or is just one freaky coincidence. :)

(Casually drop the words "Library of Moria" in conversation and see if they jump in a guilty and startled fashion.)
Apr. 22nd, 2003 07:39 pm (UTC)
you know, with a few exceptions, you have just described me. that is both very cool and slightly disturbing.
Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:42 am (UTC)
What a healthy and well-adjusted person you must be.
Apr. 22nd, 2003 08:02 pm (UTC)
huh-huh... she said "faffing..." huh-huh...
Apr. 23rd, 2003 09:48 pm (UTC)
lemon, I just read all the "heh-hehs" in the kateelvellon thread and I swear to god I had not read them when I posted this. weird.

but what's faffing??
Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:48 pm (UTC)
Hee. Well, it's refreshing to know that we all have a Beavis & Butthead mode just under the surface, ready to be deployed at a moment's notice.

I saw "faffing about" in some story, and liked it, so I stole it. Someone's website explains:
"Faffing about" is a British expression which according to my dictionary means "a great deal of ineffectual activity".

Equivalent to "messing around", kind of, but perhaps without the possibility of sexual overtone which "messing around" can carry.
Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:51 pm (UTC)
let's hope so... otherwise we'll have to start wondering what "the faffer" does for people while they're waiting for the next take on the set

[yes, there's now an obvious and nasty LOTR pun to be made as well... it is very late...]
Apr. 24th, 2003 09:25 pm (UTC)

"My Faffer warned me about boys like you, Mr. Frodo..."

Hm, yeah. Maybe we should not go further than that. ;)
Apr. 22nd, 2003 08:39 pm (UTC)
Way in which you are even more like a stereotypical girl:
9. I can name hundreds of colors, but can only identify about five makes of cars. (VW Beetle, Datsun Z-car, VW bus...uh...PT Cruiser...uh...)

VW, Datsun, Chrysler, Ford ... these are makes of cars. Beetle, Z-car, bus, PT Cruiser, Taurus, Malibu, Thunderbird ... these are models of cars. So really, you can identify models of cars. I just thought it ironic that through the semantics, you demonstrated further a stereotypically girl trait of lack of car knowledge. ^_^

Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:43 am (UTC)
Hah. Yep, well, there you go. Just goes to show it.
Apr. 22nd, 2003 11:22 pm (UTC)
Yep that's me. The bastian of femininity!
Oh wait... that's just tomboy fangirlishness ;)
Go us!
Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:44 am (UTC)
Didn't mean to imply you were a paragon of girliness - just that you provided a post that brought out the fangirlishness in me. For which I am eternally grateful. :)
Apr. 23rd, 2003 11:33 am (UTC)
Oh no, I agree with you entirely! I was just makin a crack at myself ;) And I mean the last part. Go us!
Apr. 23rd, 2003 04:26 am (UTC)
Pervy Orli Fancier
Thanks for the link to the Orli pictures, they certainly improved my day. And my eyes didn't linger on his hand, honest. Much.
Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:46 am (UTC)
Re: Pervy Orli Fancier
I admit I downloaded and saved that one. Though it's not quite his hand, per se, that's the interesting part... (cough).
Apr. 23rd, 2003 11:04 am (UTC)
Re: Pervy Orli Fancier
I don't know what you mean, I'm sure. I was looking at his delicate but manly fingers.

Was that at all convincing?

Ok, so maybe I saved that one too. To study his...fingers
Apr. 23rd, 2003 08:10 am (UTC)
Hey! My Little Ponies! Woot!
Apr. 23rd, 2003 02:57 pm (UTC)
Non-Girly Girls Unite!
Wow...you also just described me. How interesting...and yes...spooky too. I do find it odd that I am so tomboyish, but most of my girlfriends are very very girly. They gasp with disbelief when I laugh during an especially romantic scene in a movie. My sister had to hold me down one day so she could do my hair (which I like to keep natural, not all gunked up with spray and girly clippies.) When I do dress up it just makes that event more momentous because I voluntarily made myself pretty. I draw the line at pink, though! Wow...I might just have to vent about this in MY journal! Thanks for giving tomboys everywhere hope!
Apr. 24th, 2003 09:23 pm (UTC)
Re: Non-Girly Girls Unite!
Hee...I think I'm actually girlier now than I was as a kid. I had experiences where my older sisters would force me to undergo their beauty treatments, too. Keep in mind this was the '80s, so you can just imagine the results.

And I was 25 before I figured out how to pluck my eyebrows. I kind of wish I'd done that sooner...
Apr. 24th, 2003 12:32 pm (UTC)
Sigh, no more, ladies!
The only thing that is domesticated about me is the fact that I live in a house! lol I often think that my family gave up on me a looongggggggg time ago! Esp since I come from a family with a history of kneedleworking, sowing, baking domestic godesses!

My mom had to bribe me with chocolates out of the tree in front of the house each day!
Apr. 24th, 2003 09:33 pm (UTC)
Re: Sigh, no more, ladies!
Oh yeah, tree-climbing...I did that as well. And dangling from trees precariously, on rope swings and such...kind of amazing I never broke any bones as a child.
Apr. 24th, 2003 03:09 pm (UTC)
I wear alot, repeat alot of pink. My frinds hate it. I agree that footwer must be useful. i really hate dress shoes. Sappy lines are good. I know my lingerie. I do not like most home decorating things. i can sew buttons back on, fix bras, do whatever is useful, but it is not a good looking job. I am a dancer so I swear by dental floss for thread.

The guys! w00t! I like the Orlando Bloom pictures. Yummy! Friends are buying me a tiara for my birthday.
Apr. 24th, 2003 09:35 pm (UTC)
Hey, some people can pull off pink. Just not me. And I have quite the weakness for lushly romantic movies and books (like 'Moulin Rouge,' and 'Jane Eyre'), but there's a fine line between lushly-romantic and just sappy...surely an issue of opinion, anyhow.

Dental floss makes great thread. I've been known to use it as such. Very hard to break, plus it smells nice and minty. :)
Apr. 28th, 2003 05:16 am (UTC)
you are wonderfully unique. :)
( 29 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

September 2019
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Tiffany Chow