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Liberté, Egalité, Androgyné

(I know. That's not really French.)

Ways in which I am more like a stereotypical male:

1. I forget birthdays, anniversaries, and Hallmark-holidays constantly, and I don't expect much to happen on them.

2. I play trash-can basketball with crumpled-up Kleenex, paper towels, etc.

3. Some lustful thought or salacious innuendo flits across my mind roughly every 17 seconds.

4. I can do push-ups. (25 in a row.)

5. I roll my eyes and/or make cat-with-hairball noises if faced with unforgivably sappy lines in movies.

6. With very few exceptions, I will not wear pink, nor things with heart shapes on them.

7. I pretty much never paint my fingernails.

8. I'm not very good at sewing, knitting, or home decorating, and don't have much interest in learning them.

9. I hate wearing high heels or other "cute" shoes that cut and mangle my feet and have no traction.

10. I dabbled in skateboarding as a child.

11. I hated most of the wedding preparations. Faffing about with ribbons, flower arrangements, white shoes, something borrowed, something blue, and something to strangle myself with, seemed kind of a waste of time.

On the other hand: ways in which I am, indeed, a stereotypical female:

1. I did enjoy wearing the wedding dress and the fancy accoutrements. In fact, in all honesty, I would also enjoy having an occasion that gave me an excuse to wear a tiara.

2. I am addicted to chocolate.

3. I own and use an impressive array of cosmetics and hair-care products.

4. "Orlando! Elijah! Ewan! Jude! *squeee* They're so cute!" (Yeah, I even make myself sick sometimes. But, in my defense, I ask you to look at Orlando in this post of kateelvellon's. I mean, for the love of everything holy, how could anyone possibly think his froo-froo-Legolas-blond look was better than that? Granted, I kind of wish he'd shave. Oh, and pay no attention to where his left hand is. I said pay NO attention. Hey, quit staring; I saw him first.)

5. I have almost no interest in sports whatsoever.

6. I played with Barbies and My Little Ponies as a child.

7. I dislike camping. It involves going without electricity and hot running water and locked doors for too long. Not to mention the bugs. And the greasy layer of sunscreen. And the dismalness of granola bars. Isn't this why we invented houses and major appliances in the first place?

8. I have a keen sense of smell. Sometimes eerily so.

9. I can name hundreds of colors, but can only identify about five makes of cars. (VW Beetle, Datsun Z-car, VW bus...uh...PT Cruiser...uh...)

10. I do own some lacy undergarments. And some lavender ones. (But nothing lacy and lavender at the same time.)


Apr. 23rd, 2003 10:31 am (UTC)
Why, thanks. I like tea as well. :) (Mostly herbal tea, but that's inconsequential...) If I'm ever on the East Coast, I'll look y'all up. Healthily balanced people are so hard to find...
Apr. 23rd, 2003 05:52 pm (UTC)
Corrupting the minds of the youth of the nation (this doesn't fit with the topic here, I know...)
I couldn't wait to share this with you. I heard some of my Literary Magazine students talking about LOTR fan fiction. Eventually, the conversation turned to slash and one of them said, "I found some great LOTR slash written by this chick..." That piqued my interest. "LOTR slash?," I asked. "Yeah, Mrs. Wilt, you wouldn't know what it is..." They tried to hide the print out, but I snatched it from them. Lo and behold, it was some of *your* slash!

So you are famous with the teen set of hobbit fanciers in Berryville, VA. After mentioning that I've known you indirectly for a number of years, one of my students said: "She's so cool... and so dirty!"

Teeheehee. I had a nice chuckle from all of this and hope you do too.
Apr. 23rd, 2003 08:35 pm (UTC)
Ahahaha! Wow...that makes my day. The All-Slash version of "Fellowship," I assume? (Not sure what else of mine would count...)

I have this suspicion that slash, and pervy hobbit fancying, are becoming a lot more widespread than most people realize. This event either confirms it, or is just one freaky coincidence. :)

(Casually drop the words "Library of Moria" in conversation and see if they jump in a guilty and startled fashion.)