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Liberté, Egalité, Androgyné

(I know. That's not really French.)

Ways in which I am more like a stereotypical male:

1. I forget birthdays, anniversaries, and Hallmark-holidays constantly, and I don't expect much to happen on them.

2. I play trash-can basketball with crumpled-up Kleenex, paper towels, etc.

3. Some lustful thought or salacious innuendo flits across my mind roughly every 17 seconds.

4. I can do push-ups. (25 in a row.)

5. I roll my eyes and/or make cat-with-hairball noises if faced with unforgivably sappy lines in movies.

6. With very few exceptions, I will not wear pink, nor things with heart shapes on them.

7. I pretty much never paint my fingernails.

8. I'm not very good at sewing, knitting, or home decorating, and don't have much interest in learning them.

9. I hate wearing high heels or other "cute" shoes that cut and mangle my feet and have no traction.

10. I dabbled in skateboarding as a child.

11. I hated most of the wedding preparations. Faffing about with ribbons, flower arrangements, white shoes, something borrowed, something blue, and something to strangle myself with, seemed kind of a waste of time.


On the other hand: ways in which I am, indeed, a stereotypical female:

1. I did enjoy wearing the wedding dress and the fancy accoutrements. In fact, in all honesty, I would also enjoy having an occasion that gave me an excuse to wear a tiara.

2. I am addicted to chocolate.

3. I own and use an impressive array of cosmetics and hair-care products.

4. "Orlando! Elijah! Ewan! Jude! *squeee* They're so cute!" (Yeah, I even make myself sick sometimes. But, in my defense, I ask you to look at Orlando in this post of kateelvellon's. I mean, for the love of everything holy, how could anyone possibly think his froo-froo-Legolas-blond look was better than that? Granted, I kind of wish he'd shave. Oh, and pay no attention to where his left hand is. I said pay NO attention. Hey, quit staring; I saw him first.)

5. I have almost no interest in sports whatsoever.

6. I played with Barbies and My Little Ponies as a child.

7. I dislike camping. It involves going without electricity and hot running water and locked doors for too long. Not to mention the bugs. And the greasy layer of sunscreen. And the dismalness of granola bars. Isn't this why we invented houses and major appliances in the first place?

8. I have a keen sense of smell. Sometimes eerily so.

9. I can name hundreds of colors, but can only identify about five makes of cars. (VW Beetle, Datsun Z-car, VW bus...uh...PT Cruiser...uh...)

10. I do own some lacy undergarments. And some lavender ones. (But nothing lacy and lavender at the same time.)

Comments

mollyringle
Apr. 24th, 2003 09:25 pm (UTC)
*snicker*

"My Faffer warned me about boys like you, Mr. Frodo..."

Hm, yeah. Maybe we should not go further than that. ;)