Anyway, I like to think the interview will go something like this:
Jiminy Glick: In Lord of the Rings you play a homosexual, is that right?
Elijah Wood: Uh...no...I play a hobbit...
JG: But isn't there a relationship - with a gardener, I believe?
EW: With Sam. Well, Sam and Frodo are very close; they have this amazing bond; but I don't think it's portrayed as a gay relationship...
JG: It's rather incestuous, though, isn't it?
EW: Well – they're not related. Sam and Frodo aren't related...
JG: Everyone's related in tiny villages like that. Now, has it been disappointing for you, that you haven't been able to work with dolphins in any recent films, the way you used to?...