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Posted this in January to a hobbit-oriented mailing list, but never got around to putting it here. In my usual style, it's somewhere between a celebration of slash and a satire of it. Anyway, in honor of the Two Towers DVD release or something (radiofreecarbon promises there's a DVD and a Samwise bobble-head waiting for me at home - woohoo!), here you go...

Hobbitslash Writer
(by Molly J. Ringwraith)
(To be sung to the tune of "Paperback Writer," with apologies to the Beatles. And to Tolkien for that matter.)

Dear pervy-minded, I've undressed a Took,
It took me hours to write, will you take a look?
Based on the fellows from the great Tolkien,
And it doesn't pay, but I want to be a hobbitslash writer,
Hobbitslash writ-er!

It's the dirty story of a lad named Sam
And his Master Frodo doesn't understand.
I want to cast them in a Plot-What-Plot,
It's a shocking thought, but I want to be a hobbitslash writer,
Hobbitslash writ-er!

It's a thousand words, gave it all I could,
I'll be writing more if the feedback's good.
I can tie up Merry if you like that style,
I can make it angsty, and I want to be a hobbitslash writer,
Hobbitslash writ-er!

If you really want it, I'll include the Elf,
Or our Frodo fantasizing by himself.
I'm an honest student with a heart of gold,
But I need a break and I want to be a hobbitslash writer,
Hobbitslash writ-er!


(Thank you.)

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
jewelsong
Aug. 26th, 2003 02:19 pm (UTC)
EXCELLENT!!!
And it SCANS, too! *GRIN*
mollyringle
Aug. 26th, 2003 06:31 pm (UTC)
Re: EXCELLENT!!!
Thanks!

Of course it scans. I'm sensitive to such issues. I get bugged by songfics (or "filks," they're telling me) that don't scan properly...
jewelsong
Aug. 26th, 2003 08:07 pm (UTC)
Re: EXCELLENT!!!
You and me both. It's gotta be SINGABLE!
(Deleted comment)
mollyringle
Aug. 26th, 2003 06:33 pm (UTC)
Thank you!

Excellent hobbit ears. Is that you?
(Deleted comment)
mollyringle
Aug. 27th, 2003 05:31 pm (UTC)
Well, if I get my way, I'll probably be Frodo for Halloween, so I'll be joining you in geekdom. Rock on!
dirae
Aug. 26th, 2003 03:23 pm (UTC)
Oh lordy... teeheehee!

Kevon sung this little number (in key) to me and I had a merry ole chuckle.

Kudos, kiddo.

Btw, the legend that is Molly J. has two more high school fans. I overheard two female students dicussing (what I assume to be) your Ten Minute Two Tower Parodies. (Also heard Cassieclaire's very Secret Diaries mentioned.)
mollyringle
Aug. 26th, 2003 06:35 pm (UTC)
Heheh...wish I could've heard that serenade. :) Thankee both for the tribute.

Ah, well, I'd be scared by the high school fame, but I guess the LOTR slash universe is rather a small world. Once one got into it, one would probably encounter my silly stuff eventually.
tocomfortyou
Aug. 26th, 2003 03:26 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA.

O, YOU HAVE CORRUPTED THE BEATLES.

*dies*

By the way, the term for this is a 'filk'. No idea of the origin of the term, I just know that's what it's called.
mollyringle
Aug. 26th, 2003 06:39 pm (UTC)
Hee hee...oh, like the Beatles were so pristine to start with. ;)

*giggles at your icon* (speaking of corruption)

"filk," eh...Yes, according to this site, the definition is:

/filk/ [SF fandom, where a typo for "folk" was adopted as a
new word] A popular or folk song with lyrics revised or
completely new lyrics, intended for humorous effect when
read, and/or to be sung late at night at SF conventions.

Sounds about right.
kitanzi
Aug. 26th, 2003 04:21 pm (UTC)
It's a filk, absolutely! Mind if I print it out and pass it on? >:)
mollyringle
Aug. 26th, 2003 06:40 pm (UTC)
Go ahead. Doubt I'll be raking in royalties from it anytime soon, anyhow... :)
trilliah
Aug. 26th, 2003 10:11 pm (UTC)
ROFLMAO for about ten minutes.

Oh, lord, and here I thought your brilliance had to end somewhere.

*hums* "Hobbitslash wri-ter..."

Hah! You made my evening. :)
mollyringle
Aug. 27th, 2003 05:33 pm (UTC)
Aww, thanks, dear.

Still think someone oughta rewrite the script of "Hard Day's Night" to match our four hobbit lads...
poo_head
Aug. 26th, 2003 11:00 pm (UTC)
Eheeeehee. It really helps that I seem to have that song (er.. the original, that is) in my head -all- the time. I'll get a giggle from it from now on!
mollyringle
Aug. 27th, 2003 05:33 pm (UTC)
Glad to have corrupted yet another innocent piece of life for you. :)
gentlymad
Aug. 31st, 2003 08:22 pm (UTC)
this song was like the culmination of my life as a fangirl: from middle school beatle obsession to current lotr fandom! my life is now complete! (:
rock on!
mollyringle
Sep. 1st, 2003 11:34 am (UTC)
Glad you liked it. :) Yes, I had a heavy Beatlemania phase a few years back too. Just couldn't resist, once the idea popped into my twisted head.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )