Official Index of Workplace Importance
Level 1: Peon
Can be identified by these actions and poses: Filing, esp. on knees. Rinsing out coffeepots. Photocopying large stacks of paper. Carrying heavy but not expensive things.
Level 2: Mildly Useful Assistant
Sorting mail. Typing. Bringing coffee or refreshments to Important Personages. Filing occasionally, but not on knees. Photocopying smallish stacks of paper. Carrying expensive but not heavy things.
Level 3: Essential Help
Talking on phone for business purposes. Sorting important mail. Bringing coffee or refreshments to Supreme Beings. Photocopying one page every so often. Making other people carry and file things. Going to meetings with Important Personages and Supreme Beings, but only to take minutes.
Level 4: Important Personage
Talking on phone for business purposes with door closed. Receiving important mail, pre-opened. Going to meetings and giving the presentation. Asking for coffee and refreshments. Looking at catalogs and choosing some of the expensive and heavy stuff that gets ordered.
Level 5: Supreme Being
Talking on phone for business purposes from home or place of vacation. Receiving important mail, sealed. Going to meetings for purpose of scaring others with mere presence. Receiving coffee, refreshments, and expensive stuff without having to ask.
(I'm somewhere between levels 1 and 2 right now, if you were wondering. But, hey, I'm not complaining. There are worse jobs, to be sure.)
Edit, 9/5/03: Recommended humor reading: kenshi has put together a very elaborate D&D-style taxonomy to expand upon this. Check it out!