Yesterday evening, over dinner, radiofreecarbon, kenshi, K8 (code name for my sister who is married to kenshi), and I started talking about mullets. My parents, who were also there, weren't familiar with the term, so we launched into a full and detailed explanation. kenshi, incidentally, reports that the mullet is also called a "Tennessee waterfall," which I find hilarious and inspired.
Then I lodged a complaint, with the group at large, about some people claiming that hobbits have mullets. They do not. If we trimmed up the top and sides another two inches, then yeah, they'd have mullets - nice curly ones, too. But as it stands, they don't.
Still, what if they did? (We have to ask ourselves.) What if LOTR was set in 1988 and had a soundtrack by Warrant and Def Leppard, and all the characters had mullets, and the Orcs drove Camaros, and stuff? Well, to make that parody, what one really needs is Photoshop. However, we did come up with this much: what you would call the mullets on the various races of Middle-Earth:
Hobbits: Hullets; or perhaps Shirullets
Gondorians: Gondullets; or Numenullets
I think Faramir is actually closest to the mullet, as things stand in the film cast right now. But it was pointed out that Legolas wouldn't need his fancy braids if he'd just get a mullet cut. That would keep the hair out of the bowstrings quite nicely. I mean, isn't that the cool thing about a mullet; isn't that the whole point? You don't NEED to tie it back, man! It's totally convenient!
Yeah...I'll just go have some garlic now and hope to get my immune system and mental faculties back on track...