(Caution: those who have no interest in reading evaluation of hotness of actors would do best to skip this entry. Still, I've been told lately that it's normal to be lustier now than I was in my teen years, so this subject should not be cause for alarm. End of public service announcement.)
This seemed too stupid to bother putting on an LOTR community, so here it is, just for the hell of it...
On the ever-important subject of the actors in Lord of the Rings: I find, somewhat to my horror, that lately I am liking Orlando Bloom the best. Yes, they only gave him, like, ten lines. Yes, he's the choice of all the screaming, shallow teenyboppers. Yes, I am well past my dudes-with-long-hair phase. But all the same, let's review Why I Like Orlando. Reasons, in no particular order:
1. Stage training. Apparently he hasn't actually done many movies; his background is mostly in stage. And I've always noted that stage-trained performers are not only better actors but come across as more reasonable, responsible, and down-to-earth people.
2. Physical perfection. All right, might as well admit that this is a consideration. And it's not just the work of the wig-and-makeup people: in fact, I like him even better without the blonde wig and the blue contacts. Those behind-the-scenes interviews show that he looks mighty fine in untouched footage and street clothes. (Always been a sucker for dark wavy hair.)
3. Accent. Thought I was beyond this, too, but that cultured English-city-boy voice is icing on the cake. Incidentally, I have a question for the British gals who are currently in an Elijah Wood/Sean Astin fixation: do their American accents make them sexier to you? Or are the accents a feature you are merely willing to overlook? :) Just curious, as I've seldom discussed the situation with any of my sisters across the sea, and was under the impression that an American accent was never a plus with a Brit.
4. Age-appropriateness. Mr. Bloom is only a year and a half younger than me, which makes me feel much more comfortable than, say, eyeing Elijah, who was barely legal when he made the LOTR flicks. (Cute, yes, undoubtedly, but it really felt like I was checking out some kid I used to babysit.)
5. Personality. From what I can tell in the interviews, Orlando is articulate, relaxed, and tickled pink to be a part of LOTR (as any normal human would be). Has a good sense of humor too. Witness these quotes from imdb.com:
"Vig used to call me 'elf boy', and I'd call him 'filthy human'. As an Elf, I never got a scratch on me, never got dirty. And Vig would come out with blood and sweat all over him. And he'd say to me, 'Oh, go manicure your nails.'"
"I don't care much about the money at all. Frankly, if I get the chance to kiss someone in a movie, they wouldn't need to pay me at all."
6. Ass-kicking-ness. Have you SEEN him handle that bow, those knives, those swords?
7. Sense of perspective. A thing sorely lacking in many actors. I get this impression, again, from the interviews I've seen/read, but also from this little incident in his past: (quote from IMDB once more) "I broke my back. I fell out of a window... some friends had a roof terrace on the landing before their apartment, and I fell off the drain pipe. It gave way, actually, and I fell three floors. I was told I might not walk again. So, for about four days, I was contemplating that as a serious part of reality. Then they operated, and I walked out of the hospital in about twelve days." Well, at least, if *I* spent a few days thinking I was going to be a paraplegic, it would give me a certain new perspective on life.
Though I admit now, reading over this last one, that it seems very weird to say "I like this guy because he fell out a window." :)
Anyway. He's welcome to kiss me on film for free anytime. I'll even pay him. If I count up the change in my desk drawer, I think I could scrape together at least fourteen dollars.