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Answers to comedy quiz

Lame email from presumed teenager accusing me of having no concept of the richness of fanfiction to be had out there has been marked "private," in the name of not allowing idiots to have more bandwidth than deserved. But thank you all for your support. And, yes, I do believe "hemosexual" IS a desire for blood. :)

Anyway, those participating on yesterday's comedy fill-in-the-blanks did a very good job. Here are the answers:

1. How much Keefe is in this movie? Miles O'Keefe! (Mystery Science Theater 3000)

2. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! (Monty Python's Flying Circus)

3. What do you call that haircut of yours?
Arthur. (A Hard Day's Night)

4. How did you find America?
Turned left at Greenland. (A Hard Day's Night)

5. Hey, where the white women at? (Blazing Saddles)

6. Gol-darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty-dollar whore. (Blazing Saddles)

7. These are people of the land, the common clay of the new west. You know . . . morons. (Blazing Saddles)

8. Illinois Nazis. I hate Illinois Nazis. (The Blues Brothers)

9. I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. (Airplane!)

10. Strange things are afoot at the Circle K. (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure)

11. I've fallen for you like a blind roofer. (Hot Shots!)

12. There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. ‘Twould be a pity to damage yours. (The Princess Bride)

13. Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something. (The Princess Bride)

14. I'm wet! I'm hysterical and I'm wet! (The Producers)

15. Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! (Ghostbusters)

16. No human being would stack books like this. (Ghostbusters)

17. I think you're the most attractive of all my parents' friends. (The Graduate)

18. I was in the hall. I know because I was there. (Clue)

19. The central message of Buddhism is not "every man for himself." (A Fish Called Wanda)

20. It is his love, it is his passion…
It is his fault he didn't lock the garage. (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)

21. I'll be taking these Huggies, and, uh, whatever cash you got. (Raising Arizona)

22. All jocks think about is sports. All we nerds think about is sex. (Revenge of the Nerds)

23. Nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way: I have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets. (Wayne's World)

24. You shot the invisible swordsman! (The Three Amigos)

25. Pardon me, boy, is this the Transylvania station?
Ja, ja, Track 29! Oh, can I give you a shine? (Young Frankenstein)

26. YES! YES! Say it! He vas my... boyfriend! (Young Frankenstein)

27. You don't understand, Osgood! I'm a man.
Well, nobody's perfect. (Some Like It Hot)

28. Water polo - isn't that dangerous?
It sure is. I had two ponies drowned under me. (Some Like It Hot)

29. Tell me, Harold, how many of these, uh, suicides have you performed? (Harold and Maude)

30. Kid, the next time I say "Let's go someplace like Bolivia," let's GO someplace like Bolivia. (Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid)



( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 5th, 2004 05:46 pm (UTC)
[This deals with the now private post: Hrmm - the slang of the fanfic world always confuses me. What, pray tell, is a Mary Sue? Do I even want to know? I'm assuming it is someone who writes himself or herself into the story, eh?]

You might be interested to know that a student of mine is reading Tourist Attraction, but she did not purchase it on the publisher's site. Supposedly she found it on some "fiction" website out there (for free...)

Thus far, said student loves everyone's favorite minsanthrope Laurence. :)

Jan. 5th, 2004 06:44 pm (UTC)
Hmm. It isn't supposed to be on any websites for free, as far as I know. (There is a mailing list for romance ebooks, where a copy is given away free whenever a promo is posted, but odds seem slim that she's one of the maybe two people to have gotten it that way...) May have to investigate that. However, I always knew that was a significant risk of e-publishing, and as a downloader of music I suppose I shouldn't complain overmuch. In fact, I'm actually kind of flattered that anyone thought it worth disseminating. (I never viewed it as my best work.) I'll look at it as getting the conservative, pro-American, anti-Eurotrash point of view out there, in a subversively girly way. ;)

Yeah, a Mary Sue is when a girl writes herself into the story. ("Marty Stu" if it's a guy, but I doubt there are many male fanfic authors.) Tends to be fatuous and annoying, and respectable fanfic readers/writers steer clear of it. Still a very popular style, though - more among writers than readers, I have to assume.

As someone explained it to me last year when I asked what the term meant: in LOTR-verse, a Mary Sue generally appears in gorgeous Elven silks, gets Legolas to fall madly in love with her, brings Boromir back to life by bathing him in her tears, uses a sword better than Aragorn, and turns out to be Gandalf's magical long-lost granddaughter. Can substitute Frodo for Legolas if she is buxom hobbit wench type. In short, the kind of thing we all might have written at age 12. ;) Thank goodness I didn't have the internet then.
Jan. 5th, 2004 08:30 pm (UTC)
If I were to write LOTR fan fiction, I would use an idea you conceived last year: introduce 21st century technology to Middle Earth. Imagine Theoden King and his army sallying forth to Gondor's defense in mighty Humvees with mounted .50 caliber machine guns chattering away, heh heh.
Jan. 7th, 2004 05:06 pm (UTC)
Hehe! I'd totally read that. Would the Ring be some sort of weapon, then? Or still just magic?
Jan. 5th, 2004 08:25 pm (UTC)
I must say that I *love* your icon!

The Monkees rule! :-)
Jan. 7th, 2004 05:05 pm (UTC)
Heck yeah they do! :) Mike's solo stuff is quite nice as well, on the average.
Jan. 7th, 2004 05:22 pm (UTC)
:-) Do you have the DVD box sets? I have season 1.....saving for season 2. Squee!

I agree with you about Mike's solo music. If I had to choose a favourite Monkee, it would be him. What about you? ;-)
Jan. 8th, 2004 05:30 pm (UTC)
They're on DVD??? *rushes to Amazon and drools*
Were there only two seasons? I guess the shows were pretty short. Heh.

I'm a Nezhead as well. Though in my childhood I had the biggest crush on Davy. With a small Micky phase somewhere in between.
Jan. 8th, 2004 07:55 pm (UTC)
Yesyes! :-) Hope you're able to pick up the box sets soon! Gotta love those zany lads!

It's hard to believe there were only two seasons, isn't it? LOL!

Neat that you're also a Nezhead. Rock on! ;-) I guess it's kind of like the Beatles, in the sense that one typically goes through a "so-and-so is my favourite" phase. Have you ever seen the Monkees in concert? I saw them (well 3/4's of 'em) about three years ago....I missed Mike. But Davy, Micky & Peter sure put on a great show!
Jan. 10th, 2004 09:29 am (UTC)
I've not seen them live, alas. Though I did order a copy of that novel Mike wrote, from his website, and it came with an autograph in it. Woo!
Jan. 10th, 2004 12:38 pm (UTC)
Oooh! That's so exciting! *sighs* Mike was dreamy!
Jan. 5th, 2004 10:15 pm (UTC)
Hee! I seem to be the only one that got the Harold and Maude quote. (Bounces about, pleased with self.) Speaking of Harold, did you catch Bud Cort as a flaming gay fella in "But I'm a Cheerleader"? There's a bit of a mind-bender for you.

Given that you seem to be a fan of Mel Brooks movies, here's a trivia question for YOU: Who says the only word spoken aloud in MB's "Silent Movie"? Bonus: What is the word?

I had to snicker at your Mary Sue comment: "In short, the kind of thing we all might have written at age 12." I wrote *my* first fanfic at age 12 (before I even knew that such a thing as fanfic EXISTED). It was a "sequel" to "Young Frankenstein" and was Mary Sue to the max. :-) It was something like 115 pages done on 8.5 x 11 paper on an old electric typewriter. At that point in my life, I was utterly determined to marry Gene Wilder, despite the fact that he was 26 years my senior and already married (and, last I checked, NOT a pedophile).
(Cue music from "Man of LaMancha"...)
Jan. 6th, 2004 05:24 am (UTC)
Not to nitpick, but Bud Cort played Natasha Lyonne's conservative father who was afraid his daughter was a lesbian in But I'm a Cheerleader - he didn't play a flaming homosexual per se; rather he played a meek effeminate male dominated by his wife (played by Mink Stole). I suppose you could say that was "flaming" in a way - but when I think of flaming, I think of the "homosexual rehab" operator's son. :)

Typical to form these days, Mr. Cort constantly plays conservative efemmes dominated by women. The Harold character also seems to fit that bill (Harold is one character that I can say that I had a distinct crush on… but I have a soft spot for wounded birds)
Jan. 6th, 2004 09:20 pm (UTC)
EEEK! Really?!? Okay, I always stunk at recognizing faces, and now I know I'm TRULY lousy at it. I thought he was the shorter of the two gay men who take in the school's rejects. I suppose I could have bothered to check the credits...

You know Jay Leno's "Jaywalking," where he finds the world's stupidest people and asks them current-events questions? I usually do worse than his victims at identifying people from pictures. "Who's this?" And I think, "I'm guessing Ben Franklin," and it turns out to be Margaret Thatcher or something. I'd make a seriously pathetic FBI agent.
Jan. 7th, 2004 05:08 pm (UTC)
I don't remember the actual line in 'Silent Movie,' but I believe it was Anne Bancroft (Mel's wife) who said it. Talk about an unlikely couple! But they're still married. It's very sweet, really. :)

As to your first fanfic: teehee. Who could blame you? Gene Wilder was never so handsome as he was in Young Frankenstein.
Jan. 7th, 2004 10:29 pm (UTC)
I think the Bancroft/Brooks marriage is wonderful. She adores him, despite the fact that he *really* is a toad (and I say that fondly!) because he makes her laugh whenever they're together.

As for Silent Movie: The one person to speak aloud was the celebrated mime Marcel Marceau. The word was an abrupt "NO!" :-)
Jan. 8th, 2004 05:35 pm (UTC)
Ah, silly me. Been too long since I've seen that film. Ms. Bancroft was in it though, right? (Almost called her "Mrs. Robinson." Hee. She rocks.)
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )