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Ever have days where it feels like this?

I was going to save this for another day, but it fits my (I'm-a-freak-and-everyone-hates-me) mood so well tonight, I'll give it to you now.

And, yes. I realize I'm guilty of having done at least half these things myself. That's part of the humor.
Ha. Ha. Ha.

Goodnight.

* * *

The Paranoid Pessimist's Guide to LJ

If I say I like something, people will ruin it for me by telling me why they hate it.

If I say I don't like something, people who do like it will emerge from the woodwork and demand to know what my problem is.

If I share good news, people will think I'm bragging.

If I share bad news, people will think I'm fishing for sympathy.

If I share personal news, people will think I'm an exhibitionist.

If I broach the subject of politics, people will unleash an all-out flame war.

If I treat a subject lightly, people will call me thoughtless.

If I treat a subject in depth, people will call me pedantic.

If I muse at length upon a small matter, people will think I'm babbling.

If I say I'm angry about something, people will tell me I'm overreacting.

If I share something I find funny, people will get offended.

If I put up pictures of myself, people will think I'm narcissistic and fishing for compliments.

If I share a piece of writing I've done (like this), people will think I'm narcissistic and fishing for compliments.

If I share what I did today, people will think I'm boring.

If I stay silent and don't post anything at all, people will think I'm sulking and/or neglecting them.

Comments

( 63 comments — Leave a comment )
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starfish82
Jul. 5th, 2004 10:03 pm (UTC)
Heh, that's awesome.
mollyringle
Jul. 6th, 2004 11:46 am (UTC)
So's your dancing banana! That cheers me up. :D
(no subject) - starfish82 - Jul. 6th, 2004 11:55 am (UTC) - Expand
rabidsamfan
Jul. 5th, 2004 10:04 pm (UTC)
*snicker*

Too true! Too true!

Of course there's always the option of posting your brilliance and then disallowing comments, just to let "them" steam impotently, right? ;)
mollyringle
Jul. 6th, 2004 11:47 am (UTC)
That one falls under the category of avoiding the flame war that ensues if one mentions politics.

As for impotence: what? Do you guys not have your own journals to steam in?
trilliah
Jul. 5th, 2004 10:21 pm (UTC)
I can't believe you posted this. What are you, a narcissist? I LIKE lj, and I'm offended and want to know why the hell you don't. Also, you're boring, and by the way, how come you haven't posted in MY journal lately? I think you're neglecting me.

*glomp*
trilliah
Jul. 5th, 2004 10:26 pm (UTC)
*whisper* P.S.--I know you disabled comments on your last post for a very good reason, but I just wanted to mention that I am, as far as I know, the only person from my very liberal family who has yet to see F9/11, and am still defending my position on why I don't want to. To me, dogmatic propaganda is only preaching to the chior. So good for you.
(no subject) - mollyringle - Jul. 6th, 2004 11:50 am (UTC) - Expand
elycia
Jul. 5th, 2004 10:49 pm (UTC)
Addendum: If you post that "I'm-a-freak-and-everyone-hates-me," you will be virtually hugged until your eyeballs bulge just to prove it's not true. :-)

(((((hugs)))))

P.S. My knee-jerk response to the Paranoid Pessimist's Guide: Who GIVES a flying f*** what people think?
fmh
Jul. 6th, 2004 06:48 am (UTC)
Gotta back elycia here. I waste no energy concerning the comments of nit-picky, self righteous, dicks. :)
(no subject) - mollyringle - Jul. 6th, 2004 11:51 am (UTC) - Expand
jennae
Jul. 5th, 2004 10:53 pm (UTC)
Good lord that's spot on. I'm going to post it in my LJ (because it speaks to many people...). I hope you don't mind. Credit will be given of course...
mollyringle
Jul. 6th, 2004 11:51 am (UTC)
That's fine. :) Glad it struck a chord.
patientx
Jul. 5th, 2004 11:01 pm (UTC)
OMG, I think all of these things when I'm going to post!
mollyringle
Jul. 6th, 2004 11:52 am (UTC)
Hehe. Sometimes I wonder what we introverts are doing on LJ anyhow...
(no subject) - patientx - Jul. 6th, 2004 12:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
jazzypoet
Jul. 5th, 2004 11:16 pm (UTC)
*big hugs* Love you, M!
mollyringle
Jul. 6th, 2004 11:52 am (UTC)
*hugs back* Thank you, m'dear!
wildecate
Jul. 6th, 2004 12:35 am (UTC)
Very accurately observed.
shebit
Jul. 6th, 2004 02:44 am (UTC)
All so true.
joemorf
Jul. 6th, 2004 03:47 am (UTC)
Brilliant, insightful... and all too true.

~j
angelabsinthe
Jul. 6th, 2004 05:05 am (UTC)
hi! i got here via brennye's journal. i wanted to compliment you on the list! it's SO true.
shadesong
Jul. 6th, 2004 06:41 am (UTC)
Amen!
quantumlotus
Jul. 6th, 2004 07:42 am (UTC)
do you post for yourself, other people, or both?
shadesong
Jul. 6th, 2004 11:30 am (UTC)
Oooh, I get that one all the damn time...
(no subject) - mollyringle - Jul. 6th, 2004 11:54 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - shadesong - Jul. 6th, 2004 01:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mollyringle - Jul. 6th, 2004 11:55 am (UTC) - Expand
tephramancy
Jul. 6th, 2004 09:04 am (UTC)
If I treat a subject in depth, people will call me pedantic.

Don't forget obsessive.
mollyringle
Jul. 6th, 2004 11:56 am (UTC)
Yes...often with the words "get a life" thrown in somewhere... :)
(no subject) - tephramancy - Jul. 6th, 2004 11:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - pbristow - Jul. 6th, 2004 12:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
zitronenhai
Jul. 6th, 2004 09:14 am (UTC)
Good god. This is pure genius. Thank you.
mollyringle
Jul. 6th, 2004 11:56 am (UTC)
Heh, thank you. I don't feel much like a genius lately, but I'm relieved this struck a chord with others, at least.
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( 63 comments — Leave a comment )

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